You might think that a few behaviors make a person look kind of questionable, but according to psychological studies, they’re actually a strong sign someone’s a good person.
The warning network
Most people don’t associate gossip with being a good person. They’re not wrong, at least, not most of the time. Turns out, there’s a big difference between trashing someone for fun and telling other people to watch out for a bad person. Researchers call the second kind ‘prosocial gossip.’Â
They found that people who engage in prosocial gossip are usually trying to help the group. Yes, they’ll pass along negative information after they’ve seen someone act selfishly. They don’t care that it might cost them something. They’re not trying to entertain the group, but instead, trying to stop the next person from getting burned. It’s pretty selfless, really.
Loyalty has its limits
Calling out a friend who’s done something seriously wrong feels like a betrayal. That’s why so many people see it as a red flag, as they think it’s a sign someone doesn’t have loyalty. That couldn’t be further from the truth.
Psychological studies show that people who care more about fairness than loyalty tend to report unethical behavior. Those who are loyal are more likely to stay quiet. That’s not a good thing because it means so many problems get brushed under the rug. The lesson here is speaking out might make you a bad friend, but it makes you a good person. What a sacrifice.Â
The awkward holdout
We all know that one person who won’t go along with what the crowd does, and honestly, it’s kind of annoying. They’re what researchers call ‘moral rebels.’ In other words, they won’t simply go along with the group because it’s expected.
They’re willing to speak up and make things awkward. Not because they’re trying to look superior or trying to stand out at all. No, they’re just the only one willing to say, ‘Actually, no, I’m not doing that.’ It takes guts to do that.
Kindness isn’t always truthful
So many arguments have started after the question, ‘Do these jeans look terrible on me?’ You have the group of people willing to tell the truth because they think that honesty matters. But then there are the others. It’s the group that engages in what psychologists call ‘prosocial lies.’
They feel compassion for those around them, and they’re more likely to soften their feedback. They don’t want to cause needless hurt. You might see them as being dishonest, but they’re actually telling little lies to stop other people from being hurt. Honesty is complicated.
They don’t always let it slide
There are those people who are willing to stop a conversation and say something’s wrong. They’re not exactly relaxing to be around, but research shows that could actually be a green flag. They have moral courage. Yes, they’re confronting problems when speaking up could make life harder socially.
Calling out prejudice when you see it could actually reduce the sense of bias other people feel. People who are willing to make a stand might make things awkward, yes. But their behavior’s certainly not pointless. Not by a long shot.
No halo required
Being nice and making everybody think you’re nice aren’t the same thing. People who aren’t concerned with looking nice might come off badly, as it seems like they don’t care about other people. That’s not true.
Newsflash, actually being a nice person is way more important to them, and that’s a good thing. Someone who’s unconcerned with looking sweet or agreeable might have less interest in how things look on the outside. They care more about their behavior.Â
The closed door
Some people love to preach about how we should always give other people another chance. Not everyone thinks that way, though. Yes, there are some people who are willing to cut off those who do them wrong completely.Â
That doesn’t make them bad people. It means they’ve got boundaries, and they want people to stick to them, rather than crossing them. It’s a good sign that these people will be willing to respect other people’s boundaries, too.Â
Sources: Please see here for a complete listing of all sources that were consulted in the preparation of this article.
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