Most of us blindly follow the motions for years, doing what everyone else does until we meet someone who shows us there’s another way.
Daily shampooing
We were all brought up thinking that washing your hair with shampoo every morning was essential hygiene to maintain clean, healthy hair. When you see someone who only washes their hair once or twice a week (who also has clean hair), it shatters that commercial myth.
After your scalp gets used to not over-washing, it will regulate its natural oils without you stripping them every day, freeing you up from time and money and major drag every morning.
Career promotions
Professional culture conditions us to always aspire to a higher title at work, whether it’s your next job opportunity, a higher salary or managing people. When a talented peer turned down a promotion into management so they can continue doing the work they love, it really makes you think.
Sometimes, remaining in a lower stress position because you love what you do can be so much wiser than allowing yourself to be tied down to constant meetings, paperwork and office drama.
Personal vehicles
Obtaining a driver’s license and purchasing a car are seen as rites of passage in many societies. You might even be considered a failure if you don’t own one.
In neighborhoods that are walkable or cities with efficient public transit, residents opt out of car ownership. You can skip out on insurance, maintenance, parking, and more headaches. Granted, this is entirely dependent on where you live, but cars are not always necessary.
Expected life timelines
Society conditions us: graduate school, get married, buy a house in the suburbs, and start a family before you’re thirty-five.
Watching someone blissfully child-free, renting an apartment or cohabitating with a partner without marriage defies that. You don’t have to check off every box on someone else’s list to find happiness.
Office work
Working forty-hour weeks sitting in a cubicle with carpet beneath your feet and fluorescent lighting above it was once thought the only acceptable way to make a salary. Watching remote employees do the same job remotely from their home office, local coffee shop, or even while circling the globe full-time shatters the office-attendance myth.
Commuting on busy highways each day and sitting in front of your desk are sometimes just routines created by management.
College degrees
For some families, going to university is seen as the only acceptable path to a successful career. Sometimes kids feel pushed into going if they don’t even know what they want to study for a career.
Finding someone who has built a career you admire without attending university can open your eyes. College is required for some jobs, but it isn’t the only way to achieve financial stability or fulfilling work.
Holiday gift buying
The holiday season tends to push friends and families into an anxious, robotic cycle of purchasing miscellaneous items to exchange with other adults. It has become a commercialized expectation to spend money you don’t have and collect things you don’t want.
Seeing one of your friends casually discuss not exchanging gifts as adults and only focusing on great food, conversation, and each other’s company is eye-opening. It truly shows you that love doesn’t have to be quantified or validated by money and wrapped boxes.
Elaborate weddings
So many couples are raised with the mentality that they have to get married in front of hundreds of people, have an expensive venue with decorations to match, and wear a dress that costs thousands of dollars. All while the family pressures them with lengthy guest lists and outdated traditions they “have” to include.
But when they see someone tie the knot in the simplest way at city hall or a small party with their closest family and friends, it makes them realize weddings don’t have to take years of planning and cause you to go broke.
Social media accounts
Social media is such a normal part of modern life that going without an account can seem bizarre. One is supposed to post pictures, keep up with friends, and stay updated on all the happening news.
Then they meet someone without an Instagram, Facebook, or TikTok account who is blissfully living their life. It’s refreshing to know that you can stay connected without sharing every life update, gathering followers, and knowing everyone else’s business. Some people just like living for life, and not social media.
Perfect lawns
Putting in the work every weekend to cut, water, feed, and spray a patch of manicured grass is seen as responsible citizenship. When a homeowner swaps out grass for clover, native wildflowers, or a vegetable garden, you start to grasp just how unnecessary traditional lawns are.
Giving up that manicured lawn will save you hundreds of hours of back-breaking work, significantly reduce your water usage, and benefit the local pollinator population.
Social drinks
At casual parties, dinner dates and networking events at work, clinking an alcoholic beverage is often seen as the go-to default option. Seeing someone confidently order a soda, mocktail, or water while offering no lengthy excuse or apology normalizes alcohol-free socializing.
You can have just as much fun meeting coworkers and enjoying yourself on a night out without booze in your hand.
Ironing clothes
Ironing all your dress shirts and nice pants until every little crease is gone on a bulky ironing board used to be a sacred family duty. Knowing someone who looks crisp from a handheld garment steamer (or not caring and wearing flowy materials like linen or loose cotton) frees you from countless hours of mind-numbing housework.
Getting everything you wear perfectly crisp is an old-school home-economics rule you no longer need to follow.
Wearing makeup
Makeup can become such a routine part of a woman’s grooming that skipping it can feel subversive. Offices and social settings can sometimes contribute to the pressure that looking put together means wearing makeup.
Then they observe a woman confidently arriving at work, celebrations, or formal occasions without makeup. It can help remind them that looking dressed-up and wearing makeup are not one and the same.
Handshakes
A strong handshake used to be thought of as the only acceptable way to begin a business interaction or greet someone new. Seeing someone respectfully nod, wave, or put a hand over their heart reminds us that hand contact isn’t necessary to show professionalism and friendliness.
It respects people’s personal space, health choices, and body autonomy gracefully.
Big houses
Wealth has traditionally been defined by square footage, additional guest bedrooms, and excessive basements. Then you meet someone who is financially set, but lives in an apartment or small home simply, with less cleaning, heat bills, and junk.
You start to realize how wasteful all that space really is. Optimal living comes from functional spaces and freedoms, not cleaning all your square feet.
Small talk
When someone asks you “How are you?” without expecting an honest answer, most of us automatically respond with a meaningless “Good, how are you?” without thinking about it.
Suddenly seeing someone stop and smile and either respond honestly or change the subject to something worthwhile punches right through that veil of politeness. It reminds you that scripts for meaningless small-talk are nothing more than habits we can break whenever we want.
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