All it takes is one wrong move for a first impression to go sideways, even when you don’t realize that it’s a problem.
Right out of the gate
Be careful with your jokes. The first one you tell, to be specific, because a warm one is okay, but one that makes fun of someone else? That’s a problem. Nobody’s going to wait around for you to say that you’re kidding because they’ve already decided you’re nasty.
They don’t care that it’s your brand of humor and that you mean nothing by it. They don’t know you or your tone yet, so jokes like that come off as mean-spirited and make you seem just as bad.Â
Small voice, big sting
Turns out, explaining something doesn’t have to involve speaking painfully slowly. It also doesn’t require you to over-smile and repeat basic words. You might think you’re trying to make things clear, but really, everyone else thinks you’re being condescending.
They assume you think they’re slow, and they don’t want to talk to anyone like that. Doesn’t matter how useful the information might be, patronizing someone is never a good look. It only causes grief.
After the answer
‘No.’ It’s a full answer and a full sentence, even when someone says it lightly, but not everyone recognizes that. They think it’s okay to start pushing by saying things like, ‘Come on’ or ‘Just this once.’ There’s also ‘Why not?’
Being pushy with someone makes them feel trapped, so don’t be surprised if they quit talking to you. They don’t want to hang around someone who can’t seem to understand boundaries.
One tiny thing
There’s a time and place for corrections. Little mistakes aren’t it. So what if someone says ‘Last Tuesday’ when it was actually Wednesday? It’s not going to change the story too much, and correcting them so openly makes you seem obnoxious.
It makes it seem like you’re desperate to collect little wins, and that’s hardly a good look. Keep the corrections to yourself unless they’re absolutely necessary and someone explicitly asks for them. They probably won’t.
Hands already moving
You’re only picking up someone’s phone to look at it, or maybe touching their arm to get their attention. What’s the issue? That’s what you tell yourself, at least, because it’s actually a red flag when you touch someone else or their things without permission.
There’s usually no reason good enough to do it, unless it’s an emergency. It’s probably not one. So, keep your hands to yourself, otherwise, people will start thinking you’re not so great with physical boundaries.
Waiting for the spotlight
Faces say a lot, especially in terms of where they’re looking. Some people refuse to ask questions, and they continue to look at their phones until their name gets brought up. Then they’re alive again. These people say they’re ‘only checking’ their phone or ‘only thinking.’
However, anyone around them notices the difference, and it makes conversations a lot harder than they should be. It feels like you’re only waiting for the part in a conversation where you matter and not actually talking to people.
Open air, open mouth
It’s just a cough. Or maybe it’s just a sneeze. But no matter how small you might think it is, you’ve got to cover your mouth with your hand or use a tissue. Don’t even get us started on how some people chew with their mouths open.
You don’t have to be fancy or anything, but not covering your mouth makes you seem like a barn animal, and that’s not exactly the impression you want to give. People can forgive a lot, sure, but they’ll always remember you for being so gross, and they’ll hate you for it.
Two faces in ten seconds
There are some people who think being fake-nice will win them points. They think they’re funny when they smile to someone’s face, and then insult them once they’ve left. However, all it tells the people around them is that they’re fake.
You flipped on another person that quickly, so what’s stopping you from doing the same when they leave, too? Most people hate being around someone with two faces. Don’t let that be you.
Too much, too soon
Then there are those who get way too personal, way too quickly. You know the kind of person. They’re someone who gives you a nickname and teases you like an old friend before you’ve even had time to establish a relationship together.
It doesn’t come off as friendly, it comes off as too comfortable or confident. You can’t force familiarity in a relationship because when you do, people notice it, and they seriously don’t like it.Â
Nowhere to step
So many people block others while pretending that they’re not actually doing it, whether that’s by standing in the doorway or taking up space in the hallway. Nobody’s going to call them out for it exactly.
But they do notice that the person’s incapable of understanding personal space, and they start asking themselves something. Is this person incapable of understanding other boundaries, too? They don’t want to be around someone like that, and they start hating them.
Laughing at the wrong second
A laugh at the right time can save an awkward moment, but at the wrong time, it ruins everything. People notice when you laugh at someone who’s clearly embarrassed or quiet. You might’ve done it because you were nervous.Â
They don’t see that, though. They just see someone who seems to think another person’s discomfort is entertaining, and it’s hard to come back from that kind of label. You’re better off keeping your chuckles to yourself.
A tiny warning label
‘No offense.’ They’re only two words, but they’ve got such a big impact because they tell someone that you don’t care about other people’s feelings. You know what you’re about to say is bad, or at least you know other people will think it’s bad, so why are you saying it?
Using that phrase makes people dislike you. They think that you don’t care about other people’s feelings and that you’re only going to say what you want, without caring about other people. Would you really want to be around someone like that?
Just one quick text
The fact that you say that it’s going to take ‘only one second’ is irrelevant. The truth is, when you use your phone to text during a conversation, people start to dislike you for it. You make them feel like they’re an optional part of the conversation when they’re really not.
Live in the real world, not the digital one. Unless it’s a life-or-death emergency, you should pay attention to the person who’s actually in front of you, rather than the one on a screen.
Wrong feeling, apparently
You don’t actually know how someone feels until they tell you, and that’s why you should keep any comments about their mood to yourself. They might seem visibly upset or frustrated, yes, but you should never assume it.Â
You should never announce your conclusions, either. Telling someone how you think they’re feeling is a bad idea, mostly because people want the space to explain themselves. They don’t want someone to do the talking for them.
That little sad smile
Pity comes out in many ways, and it usually involves tilting your head, speaking in a soft voice, and saying ‘aww.’ Please don’t do that. Most people don’t want to be pitied in that way because they find it downright annoying.Â
It’s a one-way ticket to their bad side. No matter what bad news someone has for you, you should give them a normal reply instead. It’ll stop them from feeling like you’re looking down on them.
Sources: Please see here for a complete listing of all sources that were consulted in the preparation of this article.
14 polite habits most people secretly dislike
Our polite habits are supposed to make life easier, but they actually end up annoying the people around us more than we expect.
