You might think someone is simply being friendly, but some small behaviors can sometimes suggest something more.
Making life easier
Instead of grand gestures, they make your day a little bit easier. They wait for you at the elevator because they know you’re running up. They save you a seat or charge your phone. They bring you another cup of coffee or email you something you’ll need later.
Kind gestures like these can be easy to dismiss because of how mundane they seem. Flirting can sometimes look less like compliments and more like paying incredible attention to someone.
Seeking your approval
They ask you questions you don’t take too seriously. What did you think when you two met? Do you like their new haircut? Which shirt do you prefer? The question may be phrased as innocent curiosity, but your response feels like it matters so much. People tend to care more about how they’re viewed when the person viewing them is someone they care about impressing.
Recommendation matters
Rather than asking what you like, they ask you to pick something for them: a restaurant, a book, perfume, a movie, or what they should order. Then they’ll later let you know that they listened and did as you suggested. It can be their subtle way of informing you that your opinion matters more to them than someone they just know.
To be continued
They’ll tell you half a story, then say, ‘I’ll tell you the rest tomorrow.’ Or they’ll promise to show you something next time they see you. Sometimes it’s harmless, but it also creates another chance for conversation. Rather than letting the conversation wrap up, they’ve subtly created a follow-up.
Behind the camera
They strangely don’t mind snapping your picture in a group. In fact, they usually take a series of photos instead of one hurried one. They pay attention to lighting, tell you which one turned out better, or they snap you while you’re being goofy. For some people, visual attention can be incredibly subtle flirting.
The first choice
There are two seats, and you get the comfy one. There are two pieces of cake, and yours is the bigger one. You’re splitting an umbrella, and most of it ends up shielding you. None of these small gestures seem romantic, because no one is declaring them so. But constantly giving someone the better half can show who you care about first.
Sounding familiar
The more you talk to someone, the more likely you’ll start adopting some of their phrases. Attraction can even speed up that effect. You suddenly hear one of your favorite phrases pop up in their speech, or they begin mimicking one of your silly expressions.
Mimicking speech patterns like this happens subconsciously sometimes and can be a sign of intimacy, but it also occurs commonly among friends.
Knowing schedules
You never outright told them that your class ends at four or that Wednesdays are your busiest day of the week, but they know. They text when they know you’ll be available or don’t bug you when they know you’re busy. Keeping track of someone’s schedule like that takes noticing. It’s easy to overlook because it doesn’t look romantic in the slightest.
Tiny traditions
Perhaps Tuesday is the day they surprise you with coffee. Maybe you guys always tell a certain joke following a meeting or discuss lunch options each Friday. No one officially made these “your thing,” but they are. Making little things you do together daily or weekly can be one way to create a connection that belongs specifically to the two of you.
The boring invitation
“Want to come while I grab something from the store?” doesn’t exactly scream candlelit dinner. That’s what’s exciting about it. When someone desires your presence for tasks that inherently offer next-to-no amusement, the task itself likely isn’t the draw. Running errands, waiting for a doctor’s appointment, or taking a stroll to nowhere special are excuses for low-pressure time with you.
Full attention
Their phone vibrates while you’re speaking, but they ignore it. We live in a world where we automatically reach for our phones when they buzz. Letting someone have your undivided attention can speak volumes.
It’s not a sure sign they’re into you, but if they’re a person who loves their phone and consistently puts it away when you’re around, you’re clearly more important than whatever is happening on their screen.
Thinking ahead
Talk about something taking place weeks from today, and they offer: “I’ll send you that place,” “I can help you with that,” or “Remind me when you’re doing it.” They are finding excuses to keep the relationship alive past today’s interaction. The offer may be practical, but it also subtly assumes they will still be there.
When you’re not there
One of the most telling kinds of attention you can receive may occur in your absence. You skip a weekly meeting, and someone says, “Where were you yesterday?” Or “It was strange not seeing you.” They noticed you weren’t there because they thought you’d be there. For someone who is trying not to blatantly flirt, saying that the room wasn’t the same without you can mean much more than a standard compliment.
Even the small stuff
Rather than just wanting to know about exciting things that happen to you, they want to know what you made for dinner, how your commute was, if your annoying neighbor finally stopped banging on the walls, or what happened to that broken appliance. Romantic intrigue doesn’t always come from thoughtful questions. Sometimes wanting access to the mundane moments of another person says more.
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15 ways women flirt that men always miss
He might just chalk it up to her being polite or friendly, completely missing that she’s sending pretty obvious cues to gauge his reaction.
