Many husbands have a way of remembering the little things that their wives have done for years, even though their wives have no idea that these same things actually hurt them.
The laugh he hasn’t heard in ages
Let’s get one thing straight, men love hearing their wives laugh, and they have no problem with their wives laughing at something someone else has said. What hurts, however, is when he realizes he hasn’t made her laugh like that in forever.Â
He used to be really good at making her laugh, and they even had their own stupid jokes that nobody else would ever understand. But those are non-existent now. He knows that being upset about someone else’s joke is ridiculous, so he won’t bring it up. Yet he misses being that funny to her.
His help gets cut short
He just wanted to give his wife one less thing to worry about, so that’s why he decided to tackle the laundry while she was busy. He might’ve tried to fold everything before she noticed, too. But she did notice. She starts explaining to him how he did it incorrectly immediately, and then she takes over.
That kind of behavior can really hurt a guy because it makes him feel inadequate. When he tries to help, and she takes over instantly, it feels as though he can’t even do simple things properly. But he’s not going to complain about having less housework.
The mistake she expects
There’s something that happens whenever he’s about to start a task. She starts warning him about the mistakes that she thinks he’ll make, whether they’re ones he made before or not. Take, for example, going grocery shopping.
Before she gives him the list, she tells him, ‘Don’t forget the milk, and get the right kind this time.’ That hurts. It stings knowing that she expects him to mess up basic jobs, and really, he’d like her to trust him to do tasks without a dozen warnings.
The good news that falls flat
Perhaps he’s finally got that promotion he’s been hoping for, or maybe he managed to get to the end of a project that’s been bugging him for weeks. The first person he wants to tell is his wife, of course. He might spend part of his journey home working out how to break the news.
But when he does tell her, all he gets is a quick comment like, ‘Oh, that’s good.’ Then she returns to what she was doing. Having your excitement met with indifference stings, and even though he knows she might be busy, it doesn’t stop him from feeling hurt.
The stories that never reach him
There used to be a time when his wife would practically burst through the door to tell him stories about her day, including the utterly pointless stuff. But those days are gone. He only gets to hear those tales when she’s telling them to someone else, or he hears them directly from another person.
The only things he gets to hear are the practical updates. You know, like dinner plans and bills, as well as the details of the next appointment. He truly misses being the person who got to hear all those nonsense details first, and that moment of realization stings.
A worry that gets brushed aside
It’s completely normal to feel afraid sometimes, and yes, that includes guys. Some of them will actually tell their wives about what’s on their minds, with the expectation that she’ll comfort them. Except that’s not what happens.
No, she simply tells him that it’s nothing worth getting upset over, and that he should chill out. It’s not like he was expecting her to fix the problem, though. He wanted to talk about it for a minute, but now she’s shut the conversation down. Having your fears dismissed like that doesn’t feel good.
The compliment meant for another man
Guys definitely notice the comments that their wives make about their friends. His wife might praise a friend’s husband for cooking dinner every night and, sure, that’s great. The problem is that he does the same thing too.
He cooks dinner most evenings and has no issues doing so. He definitely doesn’t need a medal for it. But it hurts when he hears her get so excited about another husband’s efforts because, well, she barely mentions his.Â
The glance that disappears
Years ago, his wife would usually try to look around for him whenever she entered a room. They might not be planning to spend the evening together, but she’d still make the effort to try and find him somewhere in the room. Not anymore, though.
She simply walks straight past him and barely gives him a glance. That hurts him. Don’t get him wrong, he’s not expecting her to follow him around like a puppy because that’d be silly. But it’d be nice if she made an effort to spot him from across the room.
The words he always says first
He was the first person to say ‘I love you’ this morning, and yesterday. He’s now starting to recognize that, actually, he’s almost always the one who reaches for her hand and gives her a compliment. She responds, of course she does.
Being the one who always gets the ball rolling, however, does hurt, and it can hurt as much as being pushed away. He’d love for her to say something sweet without him needing to prompt her. But he doesn’t want to come across as insecure, so he keeps these feelings to himself.
The company she used to enjoy
No, a trip to the hardware store isn’t exactly a romantic date, but he still enjoyed having his wife along for the ride. They’d talk to each other and spend far too long walking down the same aisle. It was regular stuff. Those sorts of trips are just a fond memory now.
Whenever he suggests going somewhere together, she seems to be happier doing her own thing, and she might even say that she’d rather run an errand without him. Ouch. Everyone needs space, and he gets that, but it doesn’t make the pain of being alone any less.
The hobby she thought he’d outgrow
Some wives look down on their husbands’ hobbies, even though they don’t mean to. A guy might bring up something he enjoys, and his wife may say something like, ‘Are you still doing that?’ It’s meant as an innocent question.
But just like that, it makes his excitement take a knock, and he stops feeling proud of any progress he might’ve made with a project. He’d quite like to talk to her about it without feeling embarrassed. Yet that opportunity has gone now, and it makes him sad.
The answer he never gets to give
It’s funny how his wife seems to know exactly what he thinks about everything, and that’s why she’ll answer any questions directed at him. She won’t give him a chance to respond. She’s not trying to hurt him, as she genuinely thinks she’s trying to save a bit of time.
Having someone answer for you, however, doesn’t always feel good. In fact, it often feels like they’re stripping you of your freedom, and that’s certainly not a positive feeling. He’s not going to embarrass her by bringing it up, though. He’ll keep quiet about it all.
The sigh before the punch line
A sigh is something so small that it doesn’t seem like it could hurt. Most of the time, it doesn’t, but then there are those times when he’s about to tell a story, and a man’s wife sighs almost instinctively. She can’t help it exactly.
Maybe he’s already told this story a dozen times before, yet it’s a story that he enjoys telling. But hearing a sigh makes him wonder whether he should even bother. Now he feels like he should hurry up and get it over with already.
The promise that quietly disappears
Little promises can mean an awful lot to one person, even though the other person may not realize it. A man’s wife might promise to watch his favorite movie with him, for example, and he’s really looking forward to it. Then the day comes. She’s forgotten.
Once or twice isn’t a problem, but when it keeps happening, it feels like his feelings don’t matter. It feels like he doesn’t matter. He’ll probably tell her that it was no big deal because, to her, it was just a movie. To him, though, it was so much more than that.
Sources: Please see here for a complete listing of all sources that were consulted in the preparation of this article.
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