We all have insecurities at times. How we cope with that insecurity, however, is another story. Some people choose to hide their feelings of inferiority by appearing overly self-assured and doing things that make them seem better than others.
We asked people what they had seen in others and, sometimes, personally experienced, and some common patterns quickly arose. So here are 12 ways in which people often overcompensate for what really is an inferiority complex.
Turning game night into a battlefield
They turn all games and fun activities into a high-stakes competition. Whether it’s a game of trivia, bowling, or simple board games, they do not take losing lightly. They’ll sulk or even blame others for cheating when they lose. It’s about maintaining their pride and proving their worth to themselves and others.
Showing off physical strength
Physical fitness can be an area in which people overcompensate by constantly talking about how many reps or minutes they do. They will flex their biceps, verbally and figuratively. At a house party, they will start a push-up challenge and ridicule those who are not as athletic. For them, it is a way of appearing strong through physical displays.
Over-explaining simple things
When giving directions, telling stories, or sharing instructions, they will over-explain every detail. This is because they think that others don’t have the intelligence to understand simple directions or instructions.
Criticizing others to feel superior
They make a ton of backhanded compliments or sarcastic remarks about coworkers’ clothes, friends’ life choices, or even strangers on social media. Making others seem lower than them makes them feel higher up.
Refusing to admit when they’re wrong
Even when evidence is clear, they’ll argue endlessly to avoid admitting fault. They might blame their coworkers for an entire project failing, or spin a story in a way that makes them look right. To them, being wrong is confirmation that they aren’t good enough.
Volunteering for the spotlight, then struggling
When a chance to lead or take a position of power comes up, they volunteer to look like the leader. However, once they’re in the spotlight, they tend to fail or panic since they aren’t as good as they claim. They only take the role for appearances and don’t have the skills needed to succeed.
Posting constant “success” updates online
Posting overly curated or exaggerated life updates is one of the most common ways people overcompensate for insecurity. They share photos of meals they didn’t even like or posts about working late when they only stayed an extra hour. This is their way to prove to others that they are doing better than fine.
Interrupting others to prove they’re smarter
They repeatedly jump into group conversations to correct small details or share their superior knowledge on a topic. They can’t help themselves, even if it’s an irrelevant point. It’s a way of saying “I’m the authority on this” without being asked.
Buying things they can’t afford to show off
They overspend on brands, new phones, or pricy rides. They don’t buy these because they need them. They’re doing this to make an impression. For example, they might take on debt to go to a fancy dinner party just so they can look cool.
Name-dropping in every conversation
They always mention their connection to a famous or high-up individuals, however small that connection may be, when chatting to others. A simple, casual lunch with a local government official now becomes, “Oh, I’ve worked with city hall leaders in the past”.
Acting like the loudest voice in the room
They demand attention and dominate conversations at meetings or social gatherings. They may interrupt and talk over others, as if their opinions are the most important to be heard. Volume and faux-confidence are their defenses against what they feel on the inside.
Humblebragging instead of being honest
Smug self-deprecation is a sneaky way to overcompensate for insecurity. The classic examples are things like, “Ugh it’s so tiring flying first class all the time,” or “I can’t believe everyone keeps asking me for advice.” They are seeking admiration without admitting they want it. It’s insecurity masked as casual conversation.
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