Being the “responsible one” in the family sounds like a compliment, and sometimes it is. But let’s be real, it’s also a lot of pressure. You’re the person people come to when they need you, rely on you, call when things go wrong, etc. But you do it all, and everyone still comes to you for things, and rarely do they check in on you.
So, while you try to hold it all together, you sometimes feel like no one has your back. Here are 12 things that happen when you are the responsible one in the family.
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Everyone assumes you’re always okay
Because you’re the “strong” one that no one else has to worry about, no one checks in on you. You hold up the whole family, but no one really asks, “Hey, how are you doing?”
You get all the calls when things go wrong
Did their car break down? Are their bills late? Is someone not getting along with someone? You’re the first person that they call, no matter what your day is like or what you’re dealing with.
You are always the peacemaker
Is there a family argument going on? Guess who everyone is automatically coming to now? You’re dragged into the middle, trying to fix things before anyone implodes.
You put yourself last
You get so used to taking care of others before yourself that you forget how to put yourself first. Your plans, your dreams, and your goals come second to what everyone else needs.
You are the “default” decision-maker
From planning holidays to dealing with paperwork, you deal with it all. They all expect you to play the tiebreaker even before they’ve approached you about a problem.
You shoulder the emotional burden
You not only feel like you have to help with all the practical things, but everyone else’s emotions, moods, stress levels, and health as well. It’s like you’re the family therapist, but without the paycheck.
People rely on you, but don’t appreciate you
People count on you, but they don’t always acknowledge how much you do for them. So you can feel invisible when they don’t notice how much you actually do.
You are always the “mature” one
Even when you want to chill out or just have some fun, you can’t because you’re always the “serious” one. So you have to act like it, even when you’re completely drained.
You have a hard time asking for help
You’re so used to being the person who helps that when you need to ask for help, you get all weird about it. You feel awkward and almost ashamed to do it. So you just keep going, even when you need help yourself.
Burnout is your new normal
You’ve been running on empty for so long, now it’s become normal. But you know in your heart that it can’t continue.
You can never just be “one of them”
You’re always in the parent-mode, leader-mode, or fixer-mode. You very rarely get to just be part of the family, without some role to play.
You sometimes resent the role, but feel guilty
You love your family more than anything, but it’s so hard not to feel resentful sometimes when everything is left to you. But then you feel guilty for feeling resentful. It’s a vicious cycle.
Disclaimer: This list is solely the author’s opinion based on research and publicly available information.
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