We don’t always realize it, but our parenting styles stick with our kids quite a bit. And that’s even with the habits that seem harmless when our children are small. Research (see the end) shows that some of our parenting choices can accidentally create entitled adults who expect more than they give. Which of these habits do you think is the worst offender?
Featured Image Credit: Shutterstock.
Inflated praise and overvaluation
Some parents constantly tell their child they’re better or smarter than anyone else, thinking they’re being kind. But this hardwires them with a sense of superiority. The truth is, kids who are overevaluated by their parents tend to be more narcissistic as they grow up. They stop wanting to try harder challenges.
Praising smarts instead of effort
That’s not all for praise. A lot of kids hear “You’re so smart” after they’ve completed a test or assignment, which feels nice…but it’s better to praise their effort instead. Why? Because praising your child’s smarts pushes them towards easy wins, while praising your child’s effort encourages them to be persistent.
Helicopter help with adult responsibilities
A parent who always calls a professor to argue about a grade is what’s known as a helicopter parent. It’s not a compliment. In fact, it’s a predictor of entitlement in young adults because they lack the confidence to handle challenges themselves. They simply expect mom or dad to step in every time.
Skipping sustained, age-appropriate chores
So many parents think that giving their kids chores is old-fashioned & they avoid it entirely. But teaching kids to do chores helps them be more competent later in life and develop stronger relationships. As such, skipping it prevents children from being able to participate in a group. They start assuming other people will always handle the everyday grind.
Material rewards as love or leverage
Some families rely on using gifts as the main way to show affection or as bribes for behavior. This is known in research as material parenting. Unfortunately, it’s connected to stronger material values because entitlement & materialism are closely related. This steady diet of “stuff = love” sets kids up for skewed expectations of real life. Do you really want that?
Opting out of enforcing consequences for broken rules
Sure, avoiding discipline feels easier in the moment. But such permissive parenting can backfire, as kids learn that rules don’t actually carry any weight. This makes them more likely to develop an inflated sense of self & expect special treatment everywhere. It’s the kind of mindset that will definitely follow them into adulthood.
Allowing unlimited access to technology without rules
It’s okay to skip tech rules sometimes. Yet you shouldn’t do this all the time. Giving them endless screen time will create habits that are tough to shake. The truth is, such a parenting style may encourage impulsivity & poor self-control. Kids raised this way tend to expect instant entertainment and constant stimulation, even as adults.
Choosing to negotiate every rule instead of setting boundaries
A few parents will treat every household rule as negotiable. Bedtime turns into bargaining & chores become arguments, while homework ends up as an endless back-and-forth. It shouldn’t be this way. When you don’t set boundaries, kids think they can always wear you down, encouraging them to push for exceptions later in life, too.
Signing kids up for nonstop structured activities
Yes, you may think that packing your child’s schedule with extracurricular activities keeps them busy. And it does. But overscheduling also reduces their sense of independence, since they lack the free time to make choices or entertain themselves. They’re unable to practice any self-direction. This translates into entitlement as an adult, expecting others to manage their time.
Choosing to prioritize child preference over family needs
Whether it’s meals or vacations, in some households, the child’s needs get prioritized over the group’s needs, and that encourages entitlement. They begin thinking that everyone else should adjust around them. Unfortunately, it’s not easy to lose this sort of thinking, and that’s why it usually shows up later in future work & social settings.
Allowing unlimited financial handouts into adulthood
Parents who keep covering bills & rent mean well. Yet the research shows that giving this extended, no-strings financial support delays a child’s independence. Adults raised this way expect continued help without accountability, since there’s always a steady stream of money coming in. Responsibility? Financial limits? That never really happens.
Choosing to excuse disrespect toward adults
When kids are allowed to mouth off to teachers or relatives without correction, the message becomes clear. Respect is optional. Parents who ignore their child’s disrespect teach them to be entitled as adults. Sadly, the child figures they can do whatever they want…and they often do.
Sources: Please see here for a complete listing of all sources that were consulted in the preparation of this article.
Like our content? Be sure to follow us.
