A guy who’s never had a girlfriend before may give away his lack of dating experience in some surprisingly subtle ways.
Dating script
If he’s never dated before, he learns about dating solely from romantic comedies, Instagram rules, or books. Without life trial and error, he tries to apply very strict, by-the-book dating rules to every situation, such as waiting a specific amount of hours to text back, taking you on hyper-scripted dates, or having a list of questions to ask you.
He sees it like a test he needs to pass, as opposed to a casual conversation with another human.
Overreacting to physical contact
Small physical touch can overwhelm him because he’s never had regular physical affection from a romantic partner. A light poke at his arm, extended hug, or brushing up against him while walking can make him physically freeze up, turn bright red, or completely blank on what he was saying.
It’s adorable but also tells you he’s inexperienced with physical affection.
Ignoring subtle hints
Flirting is all about subtlety: body language, teasing, and unspoken subtext. When a guy has never had a girlfriend, he will almost always interpret things completely literally.
When a woman gives him a suggestive glance, throws out a snarky comment, or offers a clear sign she’s hoping he’ll make a move, he’ll probably miss it entirely. He’ll understand best through direct speech since he’s still learning to interpret body language when romance is involved.
Living space
You can learn a great deal about a man’s past just by observing his apartment or bedroom. Usually, a man who has been single his whole life decorates and builds his space with only one person in mind.
He may have one towel on his rack, no trash can in his bathroom, one pillow for his bare mattress or zero hosting supplies. This isn’t because he’s a slob or doesn’t care about others. He just never had someone else to think about when in his space.
Wrong pacing
With no previous relationships to gauge his speed, he typically lands too far on either side of the spectrum. He could fly head-over-heels too quickly and be discussing long term future scenarios after three dates since he has no clue how to slowly play it cool.
He could also be so scared of stepping too fast, or pushing too hard, that he won’t even hold your hand or kiss you goodbye after months of dating.
Independent scheduling
If someone has never been in a relationship their whole life, their decisions are 100% independent. He doesn’t think to consult anyone when making plans, going on a trip, or altering his daily routine.
He may make weekend plans without his new partner in mind or take off a whole day to do something he loves and not send a quick text. He’s not trying to be disrespectful; his brain just hasn’t created that habit yet.
Overreacting to conflict
There will always be little arguments, miscommunications and constructive criticism in every healthy long-term relationship. But when a guy has no relationship experience, he believes that if there is any conflict at all, then the relationship is over.
He’ll panic, shut down or flood you with apologies at the smallest critique or disagreement because he doesn’t know that relationships don’t instantly end over little arguments.
Perfect ideals
Guys frequently have an idealized view of girlfriends before they’re actually dating. Once he has a girlfriend, he places his unrealistic fantasy girlfriend onto her. He will view her as perfect and incapable of making mistakes.
It may feel nice to be idolized but it causes major pressure. He puts her on a pedestal like she’s an idea and not human. With flaws and bad days and complex emotions, he cannot cope with reality.
Teasing friends
You can tell a lot about his relationship history by how his friends behave. When his buddies make a huge fuss about him dating, act genuinely taken aback when he brings a plus-one, or pepper him with questions as if he’s preparing for a risky venture, it’s a strong indicator he’s always been the group’s resident bachelor. Their protective or excited vibe gives his secret away.
Protective space
If you’ve never lived with someone, you don’t understand the idea of personal space and sharing. He may appear uncomfortable when you rifle through his bag, take his phone to see the time or wear his hoodie.
He’s been used to having complete dominance over his personal belongings and having someone else invade that bubble is an extreme mindset change.
Constant consultation
If confronted with simple dating problems or choices, he doesn’t trust his gut instincts to know what to do because he has no experience he can reference. He will call his mom, sister, or best friends multiple times to run everything by them before taking action.
From what to wear on a date to what text to send back to you or how to deal with a small conflict, he looks elsewhere for solutions on things that seasoned daters do instinctively.
Refreshing honesty
Image Credit: Shutterstock.He doesn’t know how to play dirty because he hasn’t learned any crazy tricks from previous toxic partners. He hasn’t created ice walls around his emotions from past failed relationships. When he opens up to you (when he feels secure), his loving nature is incredibly pure, authentic, and genuine.
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He might just chalk it up to her being polite or friendly, completely missing that she’s sending pretty obvious cues to gauge his reaction.
