Some adults wake up & make their bed in the morning. They even have time to slice fruit. But other adults? They’re reheating the coffee they left on the windowsill two days ago and seeing it as a win. Here are twelve morning routines that suggest that someone’s a chaotic adult. Recognize any of these?
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Making breakfast in a mug
A fork’s not happening with a chaotic adult. Instead, they’ll make their breakfast, no matter what it is, inside a mug. They might even take it one step further and eat it in the shower. This person’s idea of multitasking involves shampoo & microwaved protein. It isn’t wrong. Rather, it’s a very specific kind of breakfast choice.
Eating cheese slices directly from the fridge
There’s nothing quite like a morning routine that involves eating a cold slice of cheddar. Chaotic adults will shove it straight into their mouths. They’ll usually do it while hunched next to the underwear drawer. Standing up to eat it is overrated. As for sitting down? Who has the time? They’re eating as quickly as they can.
Ironing only the front of the shirt while wearing it
While they’re brushing their teeth, they realize the shirt’s wrinkled mid-toothbrush. But there’s no time. Instead, they plug in the iron & fix just the part people can see on Zoom. The rest is still full of creases. Yet a chaotic adult doesn’t care. They’re way too invested in their own messiness.
Hitting snooze over & over
There’s the first alarm and then the second. Somewhere around the fourth, they decide that they should finally get up. But it’s with their eyes half-open & their brain not even involved. They’re not asleep anymore or really awake. They’re much too chaotic to bother waking up on the first alarm. It gives them a sense of panic.
Start-stop routine
At first, they were gonna make eggs. So the pan goes on & they crack the eggs. But then, wait, where’s the lid to the coffee jar? It’s time to do the dishes now. However, now they’ve received a weird email. They might as well check it. Half an hour later, there’s a burned circle where breakfast used to be. You can’t live like that and pretend your mornings are under control.
Clothing roulette
There’s no real decision-making process happening with their clothes. They simply grab what’s not wrinkled enough to be a problem, like jeans from the floor or a shirt from who-knows-when. One sock’s black & one’s gray. Neither matches their shirt. Of course, it doesn’t really matter at the end of the day. They just need something to wear.
Changes location to feel like the day is starting
They’ve left the bed & sat on the couch, with the laptop on. That counts as doing something, right? It feels like they have a new workspace. Except they’re lying down again, and their face is buried in a pillow. They readjust every 20 minutes as though that’s gonna change something. But it doesn’t.
Puts on the same video as background noise
They always watch the same video every morning. It could be a “day in the life” vlog from 2014 or a 30-minute review of a kitchen appliance they’ll never buy. Either way, they memorized it by now. That video is their morning soundtrack. But it’s essentially just a noise blanket to disguise their chaos.
Starts doing something unrelated to anything urgent
Everything’s on fire, including emails & laundry. But they’re laser-focused on rearranging pens by ink weight or removing dead batteries from the junk drawer. It’s worse than procrastination. It’s a coping mechanism in disguise for when everything’s too much. They focus on a low-stakes task & pretend it’s meaningful. Is it really worth it?
Sits on the toilet without using it
What started as a bathroom trip becomes an admin meeting. They have their bank app open & an unread text from their landlord. For them, the toilet seat is an adult version of a thinking bench. They don’t need to pee anymore. They’re simply there because it’s the only door that locks. And they’re avoiding whatever chaos is waiting outside.
Ends up in a 45-minute content rabbit hole
They opened YouTube to watch one thing. It was just a quick tutorial. But now they’re watching a playlist about rare bird calls or the making of 90s cereal commercials. It’s become a black hole of trivia & time loss. The real giveaway is that they’re still holding the toothbrush. They picked it up 43 minutes ago. It’s a real mess.
Promising to “get it together tomorrow”
They said it again last night. Tomorrow’s the day when they’re going to wake up early & get things in order, maybe even stretch or meditate. But cut to this morning and it’s the same story. Of course, tomorrow’s still an option. They’ll try again. Probably. Probably not.
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