Some men get along with confident, successful women with ease, but others don’t. When a man feels intimidated, he usually won’t say it out loud. Instead, it shows up in subtle ways through his words, actions, and even his body language.
We asked women to share the behaviors they’ve noticed in these situations, and certain patterns kept coming up again and again. Here are 11 things men often do when they feel intimidated by a woman.
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Becoming overly controlling
Some men deal with intimidation by trying to control the situation or even a woman. They might question a woman’s choices, set unnecessary rules, or try to limit her independence as a way to regain a sense of power.
Acting overly competitive
Many women said that intimidated men turn every conversation or situation into a contest. It doesn’t matter if it’s just a friendly game or an important work project. He must “win” to feel better about himself. It’s exhausting to be around constant competition when you just want to relax.
Making dismissive jokes
A lot of women noticed that these men would make “jokes” that really aren’t funny. They’ll make fun of women’s success or intelligence in a backhanded way. Then they’ll quickly brush it off with a comment like, “Relax, I’m just kidding.” It’s a passive-aggressive way to put a woman down and bring her down a peg.
Interrupting or talking over a woman
An insecure man might interrupt a woman all the time or even talk over her in group settings. Some women described their frustration at having their ideas ignored until a man repeats them word-for-word minutes later.
Avoiding eye contact
Men who feel intimidated by a woman might struggle to make eye contact. They’ll break contact too quickly or not look at the woman at all, which makes the conversation very awkward.
Bragging too much
Women told us that men who are intimidated will often start bragging out of the blue. It feels phony and like they’re trying to prove themselves “good enough” in some way. It’s like listening to a one-sided version of their resume.
Undermining a woman’s success
Several women shared that these men will make their accomplishments feel less significant than they really are. So, if a woman gets a promotion, they may say that she was “just lucky” or that it was “pure timing.” These are ways to make themselves feel better by making a woman’s success seem less significant.
Avoiding the woman altogether
Some men simply choose to avoid the successful woman. Women said they noticed that these men would suddenly stop texting them or answering their texts, or skip social functions or avoid situations where they knew the women would also be present.
Overcompensating with confidence
Some women say that some men tried to hide how insecure they actually felt by being excessively loud, confident, or even super-casually cocky. But on the inside, they were the exact opposite of how they were coming across on the outside.
Getting defensive easily
Women said that even mild feedback or a completely casual comment can send them into fight mode. They’ll argue back, raise their voice louder and louder, or take it more personally than seems warranted because they feel threatened deep down.
Making everything about themselves
Some men would try to make every single topic of conversation about them in one way or another. If a woman was discussing her achievements or accomplishments, he would shift the attention back to him: how he was not as successful, how he too struggled with something he was good at, or some other stories of him in the spotlight.
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