Love can make people put up with an awful lot, and sometimes, the things a guy excuses to make things work are the same things he shouldn’t be accepting whatsoever.
When dependable starts meaning invisible
It’s funny how a favor can become an unofficial job of sorts. Take, for example, a guy who starts picking up his girlfriend from work because her car is in the shop. Then he becomes the driver everywhere, and she expects him to act like her chauffeur.
Essentially, she’s taking his gestures for granted. That’s a real problem because it means that he’s underappreciated, and when he’s not available to do this favor, the arguments soon follow. Being dependable doesn’t mean your effort stops counting.
When every argument puts the relationship at risk
Disagreements happen all the time in a relationship, but there are some things that a guy should never accept. Namely, a woman who constantly ends arguments with threats of a breakup. When it keeps happening, the problem is no longer the argument.
She’s threatening to leave him because she wants to make him back down before anything actually gets resolved. That’s not right. Threats of breakup or divorce are major signs of emotional abuse. You can love a woman and still say that, actually, no, you’re not putting the whole relationship on the table after every dispute.
When an argument gets physical
It’s sad how often some guys tolerate physical abuse in a relationship. A woman might shove him once and then say she didn’t mean it, or maybe slap him and say sorry. It’s not right. There’s no good reason to minimize it, even when you’re not seriously hurt.
Physical aggression is just that. Physical aggression. There are no ifs and buts, no matter the gender of the person it’s coming from. The truth is, a guy doesn’t have to wait for things to become more serious before speaking up for himself. Love never requires you to give in like that.
When the kids become part of the deal
Some arguments get ugly pretty quickly, and some of them end with a woman using children as leverage. She might tell a guy that he won’t get to see the kids. She might say that she’ll make custody hard for him unless he does what she wants. It’s completely wrong.
No, it’s not the same thing as two parents who are honestly having a discussion about what’s best for their children. Using children as a threat is a form of control, simple as that. No father has to ‘earn’ access to his kids by giving in during a fight.
When warmth comes with conditions
Turns out, there’s actually a huge difference between needing space and making affection into a bargaining chip. A woman can absolutely be upset and not feel like cuddling her man, that’s totally okay. But she shouldn’t offer warmth only when he does something for her.
Affection shouldn’t be something that appears simply when he buys something for her or cancels plans. It’s even worse when she uses affection to make him apologize. That’s a form of emotional abuse, and no guy should have to keep ‘paying’ to get normal closeness back.
When accusations become weapons
We’ve all had arguments with our loved ones where we’ve said dumb things. It doesn’t make it right, but yes, it’s normal sometimes. What’s not normal is when a woman accuses a man of cheating or being dangerous, just to hurt him.
She shouldn’t be using made-up accusations during an argument, as these can follow him long after the argument’s over. Guys should never feel like they have to shrug it off because she was angry. You can’t throw claims around like that for dramatic effect, absolutely no way.
When suffering becomes a love test
It’s one sentence, but it does a lot of work. A woman who says, ‘If you really loved me, you’d stay’ is a manipulative woman, and it’s as simple as that. She’s acting as though objecting to insults or control is proof that he doesn’t care. Not true.
Both men and women have the right to stand up for themselves in a relationship, no matter who it’s with. Manipulation has a way of making a person feel responsible for tolerating mistreatment.
Put it this way, a guy can love a woman and still leave the room or draw a line. He’s free to end the relationship, and it doesn’t mean that he stopped loving her.
When his wallet becomes the backup plan
Helping your partner out financially is perfectly normal sometimes, like paying for dinner one time because she forgot her card. But some guys fall into a trap. They think that a woman’s every financial emergency is his emergency too, and saying no creates another argument.
How fun. It’s really just a form of financial abuse when a woman uses money or access to money to gain power over a man. Just because he’s a man doesn’t mean that he’s now a bank, ready to whip out the card to save her at a moment’s notice. You can be generous without fixing every financial mess.
When the instructions stay hidden
Some women act like a man is supposed to know everything. Yes, he’s supposed to know how she’s feeling and what exactly she wants, as well as the reason why she’s quiet today. He’s meant to know which answer will make things better.
Except, he doesn’t, because people aren’t mind readers. Healthy relationships require actual communication, instead of the assumption that a partner knows exactly what you’re thinking. The most attentive of guys can still miss things, after all.
When giving things up becomes proof
He’ll have to give something up for her at some point because, well, that’s how relationships work sometimes. Yet it shouldn’t become a test. A man shouldn’t have to skip the guys’ weekend or spend less time on a hobby to ‘prove’ his love for her.
That’s not how love or relationships work. Sacrifices made out of guilt or to avoid conflict are usually connected with worse relationship outcomes. Guys shouldn’t have to keep shrinking their own life to show a woman he cares.
When another friendship crosses the agreed line
A woman having a male friend isn’t really an issue, no matter what you might’ve heard. The real issue is what happens around him. A guy shouldn’t tolerate a woman who’s emotionally cheating on him with a male friend.
It could be something as simple as her deleting conversations, or maybe something more serious, like her telling him things she no longer tells her partner. Emotional cheating is still a form of cheating. If it oversteps your boundaries, despite not being physical, then it’s not okay.
Sources: Please see here for a complete listing of all sources that were consulted in the preparation of this article.
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