10 things you do every day that your dog interprets as rejection

There’s no denying that your dog probably forgives you for a lot of things, but you’re likely doing things each day that your pup takes as rejection.

A minute at the door

The minute you walk in the door, your dog probably goes crazy, spinning everywhere and jamming its nose into your leg like it hasn’t seen you in years. More than just random excitement, that moment is important for dogs to reconnect with their person after separation. 

That’s why it hurts them so much when you ignore them. Yes, breezing past them and dumping your keys will leave your pup hanging, like you’re not interested in saying hello to them anymore. That hurts, even for a dog.

Weight against your leg

Most dogs don’t ask for affection in a polite way, and they sort of melt onto you, pushing a hip against your shin and pressing a heavy shoulder on your foot. It’s annoying, yes, nobody’s trying to deny that, but leaning is often a closeness thing. They’re not exactly trying to knock you over. 

Nudging them away every time makes them think you don’t want to be near them because, really, they don’t understand you want them to move out of the way. They think you’re rejecting them, period.

The pause that lands wrong

Petting. It’s one of those things that dogs notice a lot more than most people think, and especially when you stop giving it to them. It’s okay to pause a little when they know what’s happening, of course that’s okay, but the trouble comes when you suddenly quit.

It’s a problem when you turn away and go back to your own thing because they can’t understand why you’ve suddenly stopped. They don’t get that you’re just doing something else, they think you stopped abruptly. Give them a final pat and make it clear that petting time’s over.

Just on the other side

To you, a closed door is normal, to a dog, it’s something completely different. Bathroom, bedroom, office, it doesn’t matter, they’re used to following you from room to room, so a closed door is hard for them to understand.

Most dogs are happy to stay close with their owners, even when you’re doing boring household stuff, and that’s why they’ll wait outside the door every time. Don’t take it as them being needy, take it as a sign that they’re just confused. Is that so bad?

A small tap beside you

Dogs notice when you’re on your phone, but they don’t understand what you’re doing with it. They read it as you being distracted by another thing. It’s why they’ll do whatever they can to get your attention again, maybe by bringing a toy to you, maybe by bumping your elbow.

Don’t ignore it. You don’t have to pay attention to them all the time or anything, but try to show them affection now and again. Your dog doesn’t get that you’re reading a group chat or scrolling social media, after all, they’ve tried five ways to reach you and got the top of your head.

Room for one more

Moving a dog off the couch is totally fair, and totally justifiable, because there could be no space left, or they could have muddy paws. The problem comes when you push your pup off and leave it at that, without giving them a bed or blanket to sleep on.

You can always teach a dog to use a different resting spot, although it does work better when you make the other spot clear to them. It’s got to be worth choosing. When you don’t? They lose the comfy place to rest and the closeness, all in one quick shove, that never feels good.

Upside down again

Your dog might roll over near you, and you probably interpret it as a sign that it wants you to rub its belly. That’s not always the case, but when your dog’s inviting you to touch it and you ignore it, your dog feels rejected. It feels like you don’t care about them.

Think about it this way. How would you feel if you offered a handshake to someone and they completely ignored you, choosing to look at something else instead? That’s how your pup feels when you reject them.

The stop-start walk

No, your dog isn’t stopping at random patches of grass because they admire the landscaping, they’re actually trying to read them. The fence post, the tree, the mailbox corner, everything outside has information for them, and all of it is useful. 

So let your dog experience that. Tugging them along and telling them ‘come on’ doesn’t go down well. It makes them feel as though their part doesn’t matter, like what they want to do isn’t important. 

A nose under your palm

Dogs make requests all the time for attention. You know, the nose under the hand, the little bump, maybe another one because they don’t think the first one was clear enough. They don’t see that you’ve got something in your hand, and they feel rejected when you pull away quickly.

Dogs don’t understand the context. No, they just nudged you for contact, you rejected them, and now they feel unloved.

Hands with a catch

It’s a sad fact that some dogs only get touched when their owners punish them. No scratches, no petting, just punishment, that really hurts. It’s part of the reason they don’t understand when the same hand wants to be sweet and friendly later, they don’t get the mixed messages.

Dogs learn patterns much more quickly than you realize, so when most touch comes with correction, they’re hardly going to expect affection first, are they? Make sure you’re petting them more than you’re punishing.

Sources: Please see here for a complete listing of all sources that were consulted in the preparation of this article.

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