While some first-date ideas sound good for a few seconds, a lot of women point-blank refuse once they hear the details.
Too much, too soon
It really doesn’t matter how nice his apartment might be, and it doesn’t matter how much he’s made it look good. Most women aren’t going to have a first date there. They think skipping straight to somewhere private can make things awkward, not to mention unsafe.
He might be talking about cooking dinner or watching a movie. But she’s just thinking about how she’s going to be somewhere on his terms, without anybody else to act as a witness. It’s too much for the very first date.
Check-in desk problem
It’s a similar issue with a hotel room, as it’s too closed off for a first date. Let’s not forget about the bed, because having it out in the open makes the date feel kind of decided. He might have a genuine reason for suggesting a hotel room, like he’s traveling, or the lobby bar is too loud.
But that doesn’t mean it’s enough of a reason for her to go on a date there. They’re not looking for such a private setting with someone they might’ve only spoken to a few times via messages. Being in public? Much better idea.
Pretty, but too empty
The movies make a beach at night seem so romantic. It can be, sure, but it can also be a little strange, and not necessarily in a good way. A lot of women see these places as being unsafe after dark, since it’s usually a long walk back to the car under limited or bad lighting.
It’s not like there’s much of a crowd around either, in case things go wrong. That’s not to say that moonlit beaches are a terrible date idea, they can be great, but they make for a better sixth or seventh date instead.
No easy turnaround
Most women are fine with going on a remote hiking trail with someone they know well. But with a stranger from an app, for the first meeting? Definitely not. Hiking trails tend to have poor cell service and many stretches when you’re completely alone, just you and your hiking partner.
That’s pretty risky for a first date. However, that’s not all, because there’s also the fact that you’re kind of trapped into hiking once the activity starts. The conversation could die ten minutes in, and you’re stuck there in the tree, with nowhere else to go. How awkward.
Passenger-seat plans
Some guys think it’s okay to suggest just driving around and seeing where the two of them end up. They don’t realize that it gives them too much control over the date. Think about it. The woman may not know the route or the stops, even when she’ll be able to leave the date.
They’d prefer to have a little structure and some awareness of what to expect, with an address and a clear exit plan. They’re not willing to settle for anything less than that, especially not on a first date. Is that so bad?
Great view, bad setup
The view. That’s usually the big selling point of a secluded lookout spot, it gives you a great view of the forest, the mountains, the sea, whatever. But then there’s the other side to it. You know, how these places are usually dark and far enough from busy places that they’re too private.
Some women may like scenic dates, of course, it’s just that they don’t like it when ‘scenic’ means ‘nobody else around.’ No first date is worth that kind of risk, and most women recognize that.
Loud is doing a lot
You might think a nightclub is a good idea. Plenty of people, plenty of witnesses, what could go wrong? That’s exactly the issue, there are too many people, so you end up spending most of the time not hearing what the other person is actually saying.
It’s a lot of noise for a first date, and it’s hardly the best setting to get to know each other. Choose somewhere a little quieter. You can still go to a nightclub eventually, it just shouldn’t be the first pick on the list, unless you want to spend the entire date shouting ‘What?’ at each other.
Two hours in the dark
A movie date is pretty useless on a first date because, really, you’re not talking. The movie might be great, but there’s no opportunity to speak to each other or try to figure out if there’s anything between the two of you. You’re just sitting next to each other, in complete silence.
The most you’ll work out is what kind of popcorn the other person likes to eat. Not exactly thrilling date stuff, is it? First dates should be a chance for you to get to know each other a little more.
Not her regular corner
It’s easy to think you can’t go wrong with one of her favorite places. Her favorite coffee shop, her favorite restaurant, they’re guarantees that she’ll be happy. But that’s part of the problem. If the date goes badly, you become part of her memories of the place, and she doesn’t want that.
A lot of women don’t want to associate a new guy with somewhere they go to all the time. Plus, most women want to go somewhere new on a first date, instead of a place they’ve been a hundred times before.
Name it or skip it
A mystery date is cute once you know each other a little better, but on a first date, it’s a different story. It’s too much guesswork and uncertainty for a woman, and that’s not exactly going to put her at ease.
She doesn’t know whether her outfit will work, and she doesn’t know what she should tell her friends before going there. It’s an unnecessary surprise that most women could really do without.
Sources: Please see here for a complete listing of all sources that were consulted in the preparation of this article.
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9 things men do on first dates that give women the ick immediately
