It’s not like every bad phrase sounds cruel at first, and that’s exactly why mean people keep getting away with saying them.
The laugh afterward
The damage is already done. Still, one person says, ‘It was just a joke,’ as if that’s going to take away all of the hurt. Their mean comment meant nothing, don’t you know? The phrase forces the embarrassed person to either laugh along or look sensitive in front of other people.
That’s hardly something a nice person’s going to do. Bad people want to move the focus onto the victim’s reaction, and that’s exactly what they get when they say a sentence like that. They might not even realize they’re doing it.Â
A badge of honor
We all like honesty, at least most of the time. But there’s a time and a place. Some people say, ‘I tell it like it is,’ after they’ve said something a little bit harsh, and they’re expecting people to be happy about that. The worst kind of people say it right away.Â
No hedging or trying to soften their words before they say them, just a comment afterward. Anyone who pushes back gets treated the same way. The bad person acts like the victim hates honesty, and like they’re wrong for not wanting to hear something mean.
The invisible crowd
Then there are those who claim they’re talking for the people. They say, ‘I’m just saying what everyone else is thinking,’ but they never make it clear who ‘everyone’ really is. That’s the point.
They’re saying whatever they want to say, then pretending it’s a common opinion. It doesn’t matter that they never asked what other people thought because, for them, they want their opinions to become fact. How is that fair?
The overthinking
Four words. That’s all it takes for someone to change the focus of the conversation and make someone else appear to be the bad guy.
What are those four words? ‘It’s not that deep.’
Now, the issue has nothing to do with someone’s timing or tone, it’s just one person’s reaction.
But that’s not all. Someone who says a phrase like that wants you to stop analyzing their words. They don’t want you thinking about what they really meant. No, they just want you to accept their statements at face value and look no further. Sounds kind of like a dictator, really.
The locked door
The issue with the next one has more to do with timing than anything. ‘I don’t owe anyone anything.’
There are times when, yes, you’ve got to remind strangers that they don’t get unlimited access to your time or free labor. But bad people stretch it further.
They’ll use it as an excuse for everything, and they’ll claim they don’t need to keep their promises or pay back favors. It’s not their responsibility, apparently. But it’s funny how they expect kindness from everyone else, without giving any of it back.
A fake exit
Leaving is simple sometimes. Most of the time, however, it’s really not, and that’s why saying, ‘If you don’t like it, leave,’ is so bad. It’s just not realistic.
Even when it’s not about relationships, you can’t exactly pack up your things and leave whenever you feel like it.
Bad people know that. That’s why they say this. They’re trying to pretend that leaving is oh-so-easy, and anyone who chooses to stick around is accepting the bad person’s behavior.
The little pinch
Bad people love faking that they’re kind, especially when they try to seem casual. They’ll say, ‘Must be nice,’ after someone else gets some good news or does something to better themselves. It’s not an insult.Â
But it’s hardly a compliment, either, so it feels weird. They’re trying to make other people apologize for their achievements, as if that makes sense. Newsflash, it doesn’t.
The shrug
There’s something so smug about a person who says, ‘What did you expect?’
The consequences probably weren’t even obvious, and yes, sometimes people miss red flags. Still, bad people are going to pretend that all the signs were clear.
The blame’s on the victim now. Because, it seems, pain is only ever a result of bad planning, and not something that can happen by accident. Bad people want you to believe that it’s all your fault.
The soft target
‘They’re too nice to say no.’ No good person has ever said those words and meant them completely honestly.
Anyone who says them is happy because they’ve found the person who’ll agree and smile along to whatever they tell them.
In other words, they’ve found a person to manipulate. They’ll make the victim feel rude for having limits or basic boundaries, so anytime you hear someone saying that? Take it as a major red flag.
No more asking
There’s a harmless version of the phrase, ‘I like people who don’t ask questions.’
Sometimes, you do want to be around people who aren’t going to interrogate you about everything and don’t like drama. But that’s not how bad people use this sentence.
They use it to make people accept everything they say, without ever going beyond the surface. They’re making curiosity seem like it’s a sign of someone being difficult. That’s simply not true.
Sources: Please see here for a complete listing of all sources that were consulted in the preparation of this article.
