Culture shock rarely occurs over the big stuff. It’s the little things you don’t know that trip you up, the small gestures and habits that everyone else knows by rote. Trying to mingle with the Americans, a newbie can be surprised by little things like how folks casually greet, or how emphatically they RSVP, or even how they queue up at the store.
Little social niceties like these are what make you feel at home, or lost in space. Let’s take a look at ten customs that are common in American life.
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Respecting queue order
Queuing isn’t exactly a uniquely American cultural practice, but in the United States lines are a serious business. You wait, everyone else waits, and no one cuts in line. From grabbing a coffee to getting on a ride at a theme park, it’s one of the quickest ways to earn the ire of the people around you. Just wait your turn and shuffle forward.
Not Littering
Although some American cities can appear quite messy, it is still rude to toss trash out of a car window or throw anything onto the streets. People will notice if you carelessly drop wrappers or cigarette butts on the ground. Don’t tear flyers out of your mailbox and let them scatter in the parking lot, either. Keeping public areas neat is just part of day to day manners, and not doing so can cause you to stick out for all the wrong reasons.
Personal space matters
A cultural aspect you will notice very soon in the US is that people value their personal space. Standing too close in line or leaning in during a conversation can be uncomfortable for them. Try to give them some space; it is all part of good manners here.
Tipping is expected in many situations
Unlike some places where tipping is optional, in the U.S. it’s customary, especially in restaurants. Workers often earn as little as $2.13 per hour before tips, so gratuities form a crucial part of their income.
Holding doors for strangers
In America, door holding is almost second nature. Someone goes through, glances back. If you’re within range, they’ll hold it for you. The only protocol? “Thank you.” A small act of politeness that people will notice if you don’t do it.
Small talk with strangers
Imagine you are grocery shopping and the cashier asks you out of the blue, “Busy day today?” In many cultures that would be an odd thing to say. In the United States, however, it’s a fairly typical form of small talk that is meant to add a little friendliness to daily interactions.
RSVP culture
Americans are the kind of people who like it when you respond to invitations, from a birthday party to a fancy dinner. Not sending an RSVP is considered impolite, since most hosts prepare food and a seating plan based on the number of confirmations.
Extra space at ATMs and banks
One thing newcomers often find surprising is how much extra space Americans give each other at ATMs and in bank lines. People usually stand several feet back until the person ahead is done. It’s not paranoia, it’s courtesy. They take privacy when handling money very seriously, and if you stand too close you will get some disapproving looks.
Splitting the check
When dining with friends, it is expected that each person will pay for themselves. This is called splitting the check and Americans do this frequently. Request that the waiter split it and you will be fine, neglect it and you may find yourself the recipient of some confused stares.
Saying “excuse me” often
For any number of situations, from jostling into someone, to passing through a crowd, or even before asking a question, Americans will say “excuse me.” This may seem overkill to newcomers, but it is a sign of respect for the other person’s personal space, and time, even in crowded situations.
Sources: Please see here for a complete listing of all sources that were consulted in the preparation of this article.
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