One thing I’ve noticed with my elder cousins telling stories of the 80’s is that there is a common thread. They do not focus on the large set of rules and life lessons. Instead, it is the daily rituals. Waiting for things. Doing it yourself. Living without instant gratification.
These everyday routines instilled their present worldview by silently teaching them patience and accountability without a direct reference to character building from any person.
Saving money physically and slowly
Folks kept their money in jars or envelopes or a bank passbook. Watching their savings grow a little at a time, day by day, they learned patience and discipline. This gradual, physical process of accumulating money also trained them to save for the future and be prudent.
Memorizing important things
At that time, there were no phones, no address book to depend on. They needed to remember phone numbers, addresses, birthdays, timetables. If they forgot something, they might lose a call or an event. For this reason, they needed to memorize it every day. It helped them improve their memory and feel more independent.
Getting comfortable with discomfort
In the olden days, our houses were cold in the winter and not always cool in the summer. And, there was no non-stop TV or video games to distract people from everything. People just got used to these tiny irritations and learned not to flip their lids over little things.
Learning by messing up
People learned how to do stuff by messing up and then messing up some more. Mistakes were private, not public. They weren’t on the internet. It was safer. It was more natural.
Living with mistakes
Bad photos and embarrassing moments and bad decisions were permanent. My cousins tell me it made them resilient, as there was no deleting it, only going forward.
Walking or biking everywhere
Many of my cousins walked or biked everywhere. They did not have hovering parents all the time and had to be responsible and cautious when going out. It made them more independent, spatially aware, and personally responsible for their own safety in their neighborhoods.
Taking care of personal belongings
Kids were responsible for their own things: backpacks, bikes, school supplies, etc. Lose it, or break it and you could be without it for weeks. Not much fun at the time, but it did teach them to be aware, stay organized and learn that actions really do have consequences.
Learning basic cooking skills early
My older cousins remember perching on stools at the counter, being asked to stir pots or rinse vegetables. Cooking wasn’t handled like a class. It was woven into the day. By the time they were teens, whipping up a simple meal didn’t seem so daunting.
Waiting without knowing what would happen
Back then, if you missed a call, you waited. Letters took days to reach you, and even returned calls were not immediate. Those delays, they forced you to sit with the not knowing and to learn how to manage expectations. Without a manual, it so gently, so silently, taught patience and the control of emotions.
Fixing household items instead of replacing them
Broken radios, lamps and appliances were often fixed at home or brought to a local repair shop. Replacing things was not the first solution. Learning how to fix things developed practical problem-solving abilities and respect for hard work.
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