Losing a parent is hard enough, but the mess they leave behind is even tougher. And it’s not always the big stuff that causes family blow-ups. Here are eleven leftovers that our readers said caused the most family fights when a parent passed away. Which one do you think would cause the biggest argument in your family?
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Safe-deposit boxes
The bank won’t simply hand over the keys to a safe-deposit box. Nope, they often lock it up until an executor brings the right court papers, even when the will or property deeds are inside. Families end up arguing about who gets to open the box & have access to the stuff inside. Even joint renters can’t get in without going through the inventory process first.
Cremation ashes and burial decisions
It’s almost never clear what to do with a parent’s ashes when they pass. There’s usually one person who wants to scatter them at the lake, while another insists they stay in the family plot. As a result, the courts have to decide what to do because ashes don’t divide cleanly.
Jewelry with sentimental stories
The fights over old pieces of jewelry can drag on for years because these shiny pieces carry a lot of history with them. It could be a necklace tied to a wedding or a watch Dad wore every day…either way, it’s the hill siblings die on. But it’s hard to know what to do when you have one heirloom & multiple kids.
Personal letters and diaries
Sadly, stacks of letters tucked in drawers often lead to fights that nobody saw coming. There’s always one sibling who wants to keep every page, while another says they should be destroyed. One might even insist on reading them aloud. Really, it’s all because written words carry a lot of weight & nobody agrees on what’s respectful after death.
Clothing with memories
Not every sweater or dress matters. But certain pieces do. It could be Mom’s wedding dress or Dad’s army jacket, that’s all it takes to start serious arguments, even though these items don’t resell for much. The sentimental pull is strong. Most of the time, families start measuring who’s more connected to the clothing.
Religious items
Sacred objects don’t just belong to one person in people’s eyes. Rosaries & crosses are both tied to tradition, with everyone claiming their bond to the item is the strongest. In fact, some faiths will assume those items pass to a specific child. It’s no wonder that these arguments get heated rather quickly.
Obituaries and memorial program wording
Whenever a parent passes away, one of their children will have to write the obituary. And the fights start before they’ve even typed a word. This is usually because of arguments over who should be included in the obituary, or maybe because they’re not sure about whether to include the cause of death.
The U.S. burial flag from a veteran’s service
Military funerals come with one flag, and the VA has an order of who’s supposed to receive it. But that doesn’t stop arguments. One of the children may feel they deserve it because they handled their parent’s care, yet another says that tradition gives it to them. Only having one flag makes it impossible to keep everyone happy.
Heirloom furniture
A dining table or chest seems simple. Then comes the time to move it out of the house. More often than not, siblings argue over who gets to keep it & the memories it brings up. Unfortunately, nobody wants a reproduction, so the fights drag out for months.
Firearms kept in the home
Guns in an estate create a whole different set of arguments that’s rarely about money. Instead, the issue centers on promises & legality. There’s usually a sibling who swears that Dad said they could have the shotgun, but another sibling is worried about safety issues & transfer rules.
Old cars or trucks in the driveway
Most people don’t realize the drama that’s created by vehicles left behind. Sure, a rusted pickup feels priceless when it’s tied to childhood memories, yet there’s always one sibling who’d rather just have the thing gone. Keepsake or headache…does it even really matter anymore?
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