People test each other’s loyalty all the time, although it’s not always in the dramatic, “will-you-bury-a-body-for-me” kind of way. Instead, it’s the hidden stuff that most people don’t even realize is happening. Let’s look at seventeen ways that people test your loyalty. Have any of your friends or family put you through these tests?
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Leaving You Out of a Group Chat On Purpose
You suddenly stop getting memes from your friends, even though the group chat’s still alive. It’s just that you’re not in it anymore. It might sound weird, but it’s not always an accident, and sometimes, people remove you just to see if you’ll say something. They may even mention something from the chat, just loud enough for you to hear.
Asking You to Lie About Something Small
It doesn’t seem like a huge deal at first when they might ask you to avoid someone or skip an event. However, that tiny ask is a little test of your loyalty, rather than your honesty. They just wanna know if you’ll bend a little for them, no questions asked, and it’s usually random, too. It’ll be something that doesn’t really affect you either way, and they’ll ask once, then that’s it.
Telling a Story That Isn’t True
They bring up something that never happened, such as a party you didn’t go to or a thing they claim you said. While you’re confused about the whole thing, they keep going to see if you’ll roll with it or call them out. They’ll always do it in front of someone else to add a little pressure. They may even double down if you seem confused.
Leaving Money or Belongings Behind
They “accidentally” leave something at your place, although it’s not because they’re forgetful. They’re watching. Do you let them know, or do you sell it on eBay instead? Of course, they won’t ask you directly and will instead wait to see what you’ll do. It’s a test to see how much you care about them.
Making Plans That Clash With Yours
While you have dinner plans with someone else, they’ll ask you whether you’re free tonight, even though they definitely know you’re booked. The goal is to see if you’ll ditch the other person for them, just without directly guilt-tripping you. Saying “yes” makes them know you’re bad with commitments, and saying “no” makes them think you don’t value them. You can’t win.
Mentioning Someone Else Over And Over
They’ll mention the same names, over and over. In doing so, they’re checking to see if you’ll ask them why they’re obsessed with this person all of a sudden, or if you’ll just go quiet. If you play it cool, they keep going a little longer, and if you react, well, they don’t always say anything. But they were watching.
Asking For Help With Something You’re Terrible At
We’ve all had someone ask us to do something that they know we suck at. For example, they’ll ask you, “Can you help me put together this IKEA bed?” even though they’ve seen us struggle with cereal boxes. This is a test to see if you’ll show up, no matter how badly you get the job done. They won’t expect perfection, but rather, they just wanna know if you’ll try.
Pretending to Forget Your Birthday
You know they know when your birthday is because you literally reminded them last week. But now it’s radio silence, with no texts or anything. Then two days later, you’ll get an “OMG, I totally forgot!!” text, which isn’t as forgetful as it seems. They’re watching how upset (or not) you’ll get about the whole thing, and they’re listening to your tone more than your words.
Giving You Half the Story
You’ll hear, “So… something happened, but I can’t tell you everything” from these people, which is vague enough to keep you curious but not enough to give you real info. That’s on purpose. They wanna see if you respect the boundary, or you’ll start digging for more information. Don’t take the bait when they say things like “I probably shouldn’t say more,” and then go quiet.
Hinting They’re Upset But Not Saying Why
They send a “K” and then they disappear, so you ask if everything’s okay, and they hit you with “I’m fine.” That clearly means they’re not fine, but they won’t explain because the test isn’t about the problem. They’re testing how far you’ll go to care, or if you’ll just shrug it off. Sometimes, they’ll leave your messages on read for hours after that.
Sharing a Fake Problem With Someone Else
One of your mutual friends tells you that someone is upset with you about something, but the truth is that they’re not. The original person made it up to see what you’d do when you heard the drama secondhand. They’re listening for loyalty, and that mutual friend might even be in on it. Really, they only care about what you say when you think the real person isn’t in the loop.
Asking You to Rate Their Friends
One of the most obvious signs of a loyalty test is when someone asks you to give your opinion about another friend. It doesn’t matter how you answer, as they’re waiting to see if you trash-talk people they’re close to. Saying too much means they’ll never trust you again. But choosing to say nothing…well, they’re still judging a little.
Letting You Know They’re Hanging Out Without You
You didn’t get an invite to the latest hangout, but they’re bringing it up, loud and clear. Why? Because they want to see your face when you hear it, whether that’s relaxed or jealous. They won’t bring it up again, either. They’ll just give the one casual comment, and then they’ll wait for any changes in how you treat them after that.
Testing Your Memory About What They’ve Told You
They drop a random detail they told you a while back, like their cousin’s name or their dog’s birthday, and see if you remember it. If you do, that’s cool, but if not, they won’t call it out. However, they’ll remember that instead. They might even repeat the story and wait for you to say, “Oh yeah, you told me.”
Watching What You Say About Mutual Friends
They’ll bring up someone they’ve argued with before, usually in a casual way, like, “Oh yeah, I ran into Jamie yesterday.” They won’t give any details or expression. You might not think much of it, but they’re actually paying attention to what you say next and whether they can trust you. They won’t act like it was a setup, even though it definitely was.
Getting Someone Else to Ask On Their Behalf
Similarly, as you’re talking with someone you both know, out of nowhere, they’ll ask you about another friend and the drama between them. However, they didn’t just wake up curious. The other person sent them because they wanted the scoop, although not directly. Whatever you say will always get back to them. The whole thing was planned from the beginning.
Saying They Might Move Or Quit
Out of the blue, they’ll tell you that they’re thinking about leaving something, whether that’s their job or the city, whatever. They won’t say when or why, but will just say this and let it sit. It’s because they want to see if you care to ask questions, or if you brush it off like it’s no big deal. They’re watching what you’ll do with the idea of them leaving.
Disclaimer: This list is solely the author’s opinion based on research and publicly available information.
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