Most of us are out here doing our best, and part of that involves dodging certain truths. We know they’re there, we just…choose to ignore them and pretend that everything’s fine. Except, if we stopped for five seconds, we’d probably admit that it’s anything but. Here are twenty truths we avoid to feel better about life.
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You Won’t Feel Very Different After Achieving a Big Goal
You hit that finish line, whether that’s with your degree in hand or keys to your first place, but nothing explodes. There’s no choir and no slow-motion joy montage, just the next day, with the same socks and same coffee. People think reaching the goal is the high point, but the truth is that it doesn’t feel all that different when you get there.
Being Nice Doesn’t Guarantee People Will Treat You Well
You could bake someone a cake and hold the door for them, but they still might treat you like a background character. It sucks, but that’s how it goes. Life’s not a vending machine where giving kindness means you’ll get kindness back, and sometimes, you get gum stuck to your shoe instead.
You’re Not the Main Character
That thing you said two weeks ago, which kept you up at night? Everyone else probably forgot about it by breakfast, as they’re mostly tuned in to their own inner monologue. Your awkward moment is just a blip, if it registers at all. It sounds bad, but your “cringe” moment probably didn’t even make the cut, and most people aren’t usually paying attention to you.
You’ll Keep Making the Same Mistakes
You might change the job or your relationship, but somehow, you still end up in the same situation again, it’s just dressed differently. Perhaps this time it takes longer to fall apart, or maybe it looks more “adult.” But either way, it’s the same pattern, even if you don’t want to see it that way, and you convince yourself that it’s progress.
You May Be in Love With an Idea, Not a Person
You keep thinking about them, not texting them, just thinking. You remember the way they used to be, or how they could be, and how good it felt that one time. But if you actually spent a week with them right now, the illusion would disappear. Letting go of the version in your head feels worse than holding onto the fiction, so you stick with it.
You Like the Struggle More Than the Solution
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Some problems stick around longer than they need to, although it’s not necessarily because they’re impossible to fix. Rather, it’s because part of you doesn’t want to fix them, and they’ve become something you organize your life around. The idea of solving these problems and having nothing left to complain about freaks you out.
You Don’t Always Want Things to Work Out
Likewise, there are times when you say you want something, but the truth is that you’re not actually ready for what it would take. You’d have to show up differently, and you’d have to stop blaming other things. As such, it’s easier to keep saying, “It’s just not the right time,” than admit you might be sabotaging it on purpose.
You Fear Rejection More Than Uncertainty
Most of the time, you keep things low-key and you wait for someone else to bring the issues up, or you might even hope they’ll just know. That way, if it doesn’t happen, you can tell yourself it wasn’t meant to be, without ever risking the awkwardness of asking for it out loud. Essentially, you’d rather deal with uncertainty than hear a clear “no.”
You’re More Focused On Feeling Better Than Getting Better
“Working on yourself” often involves looking for something that’ll make you feel less uncomfortable right now than actually improves you. You’ll scroll for answers or buy stuff that promises to help, but when it’s time to make an actual change, you’re too drained. Rather than laziness, it feels better to get temporary relief than to do something permanent.
You Choose Familiar Suffering Over Unfamiliar Peace
You say you want change, but if you’re honest, you already know how to function in chaos. It’s predictable, and you’ve adapted, no matter how appealing the idea of peace may be. Who would you be without the constant tension? Instead, you stay where you are and tell yourself there’s no better option, when really, you just don’t know how to exist without the stress.
You Might Not Want to Heal
If you got better, actually better, you’d have to stop blaming that thing that happened, and you wouldn’t be able to explain away your behavior anymore. Healing would mean being responsible for what you do now, not what was done to you before. The truth is that kind of freedom feels rather terrifying.
Some of Your Memories Aren’t Real
Part of those stories you keep telling might be completely wrong, although it’s not your fault. Our brains just remix things without us realizing it. But hey, it feels true, so we roll with it. You probably added details over time, like a line someone said or how you felt. When people disagree with your version, it’s easier to assume they’re wrong than to admit the truth.
You Judge People By Their Appearance
That snap reaction when you meet someone comes from your brain scanning a face and deciding stuff before you’ve even said hello. It’s instinct, not evil, but it’s there, no matter how much we pretend we’re immune. You’ll say things like “I just got a weird feeling” or “They seemed off,” then you work to justify your snap judgment with something more reasonable.
You Probably Won’t Keep in Touch With Most People
At some point, that old coworker or high school friend becomes just a name you scroll past, even though there may be no drama or falling out. You tell yourself you’ll grab coffee someday, but you won’t, and it’s easier to leave it vague than admit you’ve both moved on. Pretending you’ll be friends again helps you avoid the weird grief that comes with friendships just ending.
Most Arguments Don’t End With Someone Changing Their Mind
When’s the last time someone said, “Wow, great point. I’ve totally changed my view,” in the middle of an argument? Probably never. Most arguments end with two people agreeing to disagree or just ignoring each other. People are stubborn, including you, and that means you likely finish an argument feeling the same as you did before.
You Don’t Actually Multitask Well
Despite what you might think, you’re not actually checking emails and texting your sister while watching Netflix at the same time. You’re just switching fast and doing so badly. Even if you feel productive, your focus is tanking each time you bounce to something new, and you probably miss details or repeat things without realizing it.
Many of Your Opinions Come From People You’ve Never Met
You think it’s your opinion, but it’s probably something you absorbed from a podcast or a tweet, perhaps even from someone you admire. There’s nothing wrong with that, of course. It’s just that we all have recycled thoughts that feel original, but are actually from elsewhere. You could try to figure out where an idea actually came from, although you’ll likely just get brain fog.
You Care More About Being Right Than Being Kind
Not always, but occasionally, you care about being right more than you do about being kind to other people. That itch to correct someone is a form of control that you disguise as logic. However, you don’t have to fix everything, even if you really, really want to. Most people say they’re trying to be helpful, but usually, they’re chasing that tiny power trip of being right.
You Sometimes Want People To Fail
While we won’t admit it, when that person who’s always winning trips up, we get a little satisfaction. That doesn’t make us awful, but rather, it makes you honest. Most people just dress it up as “karma” so they don’t feel weird about it, and we tell ourselves they deserved it, or that they needed to be humbled. Part of us feels better knowing they’re not winning at everything.
You Aren’t As Good at Listening As You Think
Although you think you’re being attentive, your brain’s already three exits ahead when someone’s talking, and that’s because listening is work. Most of us get by on going through the motions and calling it empathy. Whoops. You might even interrupt, not because you’re rude, but because you’ve already decided where the sentence is going.
Disclaimer: This list is solely the author’s opinion based on research and publicly available information.
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