Raising a teenager isn’t always easy and sometimes, we parents do things that really get on their nerves—without us even realizing it! Even with the best intentions, some habits drive your teen up the wall. But don’t worry because we’re here to help you out. Here are ten things your teenager wishes you’d stop doing. Knowing these might make life at home a whole lot better for you all.
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Sharing Too Much About Them Online
Your teen likely cringes when you share their photos or stories on social media without getting their okay first. No matter how adorable you think that picture from their childhood might be, it’s embarrassing to them! Like anyone, they really value their privacy. Posting about them without permission feels like a violation so ask them whenever you want to share something. In doing so, you’ll keep them happy because they’ll understand that you respect their boundaries online as much as you do in real life.
Comparing Them to Others
Your teen hates it when you compare them to their siblings or friends. Hearing things like, “Why can’t you be more like your cousin Emily? She gets straight A’s” makes them feel like they’re not good enough—that’s quite discouraging. They want you to see them for who they are! Rather than measuring them against others, try focusing on what they’re good at & what makes them unique. It’ll help them see that you actually care about who they are, which will develop their sense of confidence.
Entering Their Room Without Knocking
Anytime you’ve barged into your teen’s room without knocking, you’ve probably noticed they’re not too thrilled about it. Privacy is quite important to them right now. You wouldn’t be happy if someone walked into your bedroom unexpectedly so why do it to them? Knock first & wait until they say it’s okay to come in. In doing so, you show them you care about their personal space and you really can’t put a price on that feeling!
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Trying to Use Their Slang
We get it—you want to connect with your teen & using their slang seems like a fun idea. However, most of the time, it doesn’t land the way you hope. Saying things like “That’s lit!” or “No cap” makes them cringe because you’re most likely using the phrases wrong—and they’re probably outdated now, too! Instead of trying to talk like them, just be yourself. They’ll appreciate this kind of genuine conversation a lot more than you trying to come across as one of their best friends. You’re a parent and not a classmate.
Talking About Them in Front of Their Friends
Bringing up personal stories about your teen when their friends are over makes them feel really uncomfortable. Keep those tales between family! Unless they tell you it’s okay to share their embarrassing moments when their friends are around, try to avoid sharing them. Let them enjoy their social time. They don’t want to sit there cringing at what you might say next.
Dismissing Their Music or Fashion Choices
While your teen’s taste in music or fashion might confuse you, to them, it’s a big part of who they are. As such, making negative comments about their favorite band hurts them. Even rolling your eyes at the clothes they wear isn’t fair—they’ll think you’re not accepting them for who they are. Really, it doesn’t matter if you don’t like it. Just try to be open-minded or at least neutral because supporting their self-expression will improve your relationship.
Giving Unsolicited Advice Constantly
We know you want to help—yet giving advice every time your teen shares something becomes overwhelming for them. Sometimes they just need someone to listen and not to fix things! As a result, you should avoid jumping in with solutions right away because it makes them feel like you don’t understand. Simply try listening. In doing so, they’ll feel heard & valued.
Not Taking Their Opinions Seriously
You shouldn’t brush your teen off whenever they share their thoughts on something. Worse still, making decisions without considering their views makes them feel invisible—they want to know that what they think matters. Try including them in family discussions, whether it’s about vacation plans or household rules. Why? Because it makes them feel respected & more connected to you since you see them as a growing individual.
Scheduling Every Minute of Their Day
Any adult whose schedule is packed from morning until night is going to feel overwhelmed—teens are no exception. While having things to do is great, not leaving them any free time because of school, sports, music lessons & homework will make them feel trapped. Instead, give them some space to relax or choose what they want to do! Better yet, giving them some control over their schedule helps them develop a sense of independence.
Underestimating Their Stress
It’s easy to think teens have it easy but they’re juggling a lot—school, friends, maybe a part-time job, as well as planning for the future. As such, you shouldn’t dismiss their stress by saying things like, “Wait until you have real responsibilities.” That makes them feel like you don’t get it. Rather, you should acknowledge that their challenges are real and let them know you’re there to support them.
Disclaimer: This list is solely the author’s opinion based on research and publicly available information.
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