Gen Xers are pretty good at avoiding oversharing, and they definitely don’t sit around talking about their childhood trauma for fun. If they do remember something weird or uncomfortable from growing up, they’ll just say, “It was the ’80s” and move on. But the truth is, there are a lot of important things that never make it into conversation. Why do these things never come up?
Featured Image Credit: HI_Pictures/Shutterstock.com.
Their Parents’ Mental Health
If Mom didn’t get out of bed for two days, it was just because she was tired, and if Dad yelled at the toaster and stormed out, it was because he was stressed. Gen X didn’t get explanations for their parents’ mental health. Instead, they got excuses. That same kind of silence stuck around, and they still struggle to talk about their mental health.
Having Entire Summers With Zero Adult Supervision
As children, Gen Xers would ride their bikes until the wheels fell off and drink warm soda from someone’s garage without any adults knowing where they were all day. That was just how summers were. These days, Gen X doesn’t really bring it up, and it’s probably because they don’t want to recognize that they were essentially abandoned.
The Pressure to “Not Be a Burden”
They could’ve had a broken arm and a melted shoe, but Gen X was expected to keep it moving. Complaining or needing anything felt like a nuisance. It taught them that they’d “figure it out” eventually, and this kind of instinct is still going strong. But ask where it came from, and they’ll probably just shrug because they have no idea about the truth.
Their Families Hid Money Problems With Silence
Some Gen Xers are kinda weird about money, and they’ll refuse to talk about it and may even get nervous splitting a bill. It’s probably because a lot of them grew up with parents who treated money like a state secret. You just knew when things were bad without anyone ever saying it or acknowledging that something was wrong.
Physical Punishment Was Normal
A shoe flying through the air and a smack for backtalk happened a lot to Gen Xers. But don’t expect this generation to unpack it. Most don’t call it abuse, yet they’re also not laughing about it, either, and they’ll just say that it’s something that happened. They might even claim that it didn’t cause them any harm, although the truth is that it really did.
They Were Expected to “Take Care” of Their Parents
In some homes, especially after a divorce, the roles flipped, with kids comforting their parents or giving advice. They may have even had to play peacekeeper, and they were forced to adapt to this role without question. Now, as adults, a lot of Gen X still feels responsible for keeping everything calm, but they don’t really talk about why.
Friendships Disappeared Without a Word
Before texting, if someone moved or stopped calling, that was it, and you never received any closure. One day, you were best friends, and the next thing you know, they’re not even in the yearbook. Gen X doesn’t really reflect on this or how they miss people they never got to say goodbye to. It’s a real shame, honestly.
Many Didn’t Feel “Safe” Talking at School
Teachers could be brutal, and students were even worse because saying the wrong thing could mean embarrassment for weeks. As a result, many Gen X kids learned early to zip it and keep their heads down just to avoid attention. You might notice that some of them are completely silent in meetings now. That’s something that started rather young.
They Parented Younger Siblings
The majority of Gen X ran a daycare before they hit puberty, as they had to change their siblings’ diapers and make sure they got to school on time. They weren’t even old enough to drive. Back then, people didn’t see it as anything unusual and just called it “helping out.” But it was a full-time gig that made them more like parents than their own moms and dads.
Crying in Front of Anyone Was a Sign of Weakness
Any Gen Xers who cried in public would hear “Oh come on, toughen up,” or worse, “You want something to cry about?” As such, many of them learned to hold it in, even during stuff that really should have made them cry. It’s the biggest reason why many of them still struggle to let it out now, and they’ll refuse to talk about it.
Grief Was Usually Handled Alone
Likewise, if someone passed away, they’d perhaps go to a funeral, then go back to school like nothing happened. Gen X didn’t grow up with grief counseling or safe spaces, and they were taught to deal with sadness privately. That habit stuck, despite the fact that the losses got bigger and harder.
Divorce Was Treated Like a Family Secret
One day, Dad’s stuff was gone, and Gen X had a new address, with no real explanation of why. Gen X saw one of the biggest cultural changes in family structure, as divorces became more common, but no one talked them through it. Even now, they might crack a joke about it. However, they won’t go into detail.
They Were Background Characters at Home
Not all Gen Xers were abused as kids, and they were sometimes just…there. They got decent food and warm beds, but no one asked how they were feeling or tried to make them feel involved. They were just background characters. Since this wasn’t anything too dramatic, they rarely mention it now, nor do they recognize it as neglect.
They Learned to Self-Soothe With Entertainment
When you came home to an empty house every day, you found your own comfort. Nobody called it self-regulation or coping. Instead, Gen X would put on a sitcom on TV or read a comic book and zone out. Yes, it worked, but they never called it what it really was. They won’t admit that they were trying to deal with life, either.
They Watched Real Violence on TV With No Warning
Gen X was the first generation to see actual people dying on the news, in real time, on their living room TVs. Executions, war footage, the Challenger explosion, police shootings, riots, and press conferences came with no content warning. Parents didn’t turn it off and, instead, kids sat there. Gen X almost never brings this up.
They Had No Privacy About Puberty at Home
There were no locks on bathroom doors in Gen X’s childhood homes. That meant that their family knew every private detail about them, including when they had their period, for example. There was no privacy and no safe space to go through any of it. Unfortunately, Gen X doesn’t usually talk about how exposed and awkward all that felt, even now as adults.
They Avoid Talking About How Lonely It Was
For all the independence and “latchkey” freedom, it got rather lonely sometimes. But Gen X doesn’t really go there. They’ll joke about how they raised themselves or ate cold SpaghettiOs, yet you won’t hear much about the quiet. It’s the kind of quiet that sits in your chest for years, and Gen X can’t understand why they’d want to open that door.
Disclaimer: This list is solely the author’s opinion based on research and publicly available information.
Like our content? Be sure to follow us.
