Parenthood – Striking a Balance Between High Standards and Realistic Expectations

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Parenting, an intricate dance between love, responsibility, and expectations, can sometimes become a battleground for differing views on what constitutes good parenting. In a recent social media post, one parent found himself caught in a whirlwind of opinions and advice when he shared his story.

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Husband’s Concerns about Parenting Standards

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The original poster (OP), a 38-year-old husband, begins by sharing how he is grappling with his wife’s seemingly unattainable standards for raising their three children, aged 12, 10, and 8. OP expressed concerns about his wife’s constant state of overwhelm and her propensity to become easily irritated. OP’s contention was that her relentless pursuit of high standards in parenting was the root cause of her stress.

Morning Routine and Sleep Disputes

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OP’s grievances touched on various aspects of his family life. One of the main points of contention was their morning routine. OP’s wife insisted that one of them should rise at 6:45 AM every morning to ensure that the kids were ready for school and caught the 7:45 AM bus. She argued that even though the children could dress themselves and pour cereal and milk, they required more substantial breakfasts, particularly the 12-year-old.

Additionally, she was concerned about their 10-year-old, who had ADHD and might struggle in the morning. She also valued the tradition of seeing them off and giving them a morning kiss. Consequently, she took charge of these duties, leaving OP to sleep in. However, she often expressed frustration that OP never gave her a morning off, even though OP believed she could simply take one whenever she pleased.

Screen Time Differences

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Another point of contention revolved around screen time. OP’s wife imposed a strict limit of two hours per day on weekdays, leading to frequent disagreements with the kids. OP, on the other hand, argued that as long as homework was completed, there was no need for such a rigid limit. OP believed that they should be allowed to enjoy their screen time until bedtime. The differing opinions on screen time left OP’s wife exhausted and irritable.

Weekend Outings vs. Staying Home

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Weekends didn’t escape their disputes either. OP’s wife enjoyed planning outings to places like zoos and museums. However, she often complained about the stress involved in organizing these trips and how the youngest child would become grouchy by the end of the day. OP’s counter-suggestion was to simply stay home, a choice that would reduce the workload but might not necessarily be everyone’s preferred option. OP maintained that he was an engaged and active parent, but he questioned the online community whether he should be obligated to help his wife alleviate stress that he believed she created for herself due to her high standards.

Online Opinions

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Outrageously_Penguin highlighted the crucial role of parental involvement, particularly when dealing with younger children. The user’s stance underscored the idea that high standards in parenting, like ensuring a healthy breakfast or limiting screen time, are not unreasonable expectations.

Traveler691 chimed in with a straightforward viewpoint, asserting that there are essential parental duties in the morning, especially when dealing with an 8-year-old.

“There are things a parent has to do for children in the mornings – your youngest is eight. Cereal is nothing but sugar, a lot of moms don’t want their kids to eat that every day. Two hours of screen time is generous, not strict. You sound rather checked out.”

More Criticism For OP

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Meanwhile, Sadmoonshark urged OP to help his wife. The user emphasized that raising kids is a commitment, not a matter of “high standards.”

“Help her out. Kids require a lot of work that you signed up for when you decided to have kids. Her “high standards “ are literally bare minimum. Every morning she is setting them up for success with no help from you which is why she’s so overwhelmed.”

AgnarCrackenhammer probed the husband’s notion of an “engaged parent.”

The comment challenged the belief that providing a nutritious breakfast and regulating screen time were too demanding, suggesting that these activities are fundamental to responsible parenting.

Lastly, Mocena didn’t mince words, remarking on the wife’s patience and OP’s alleged laziness.

“Trust me, your wife is already making one huge concession in her expectations by putting up with your lazy a**.”

The Verdict

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OP grapples with a perceived clash of parenting standards with his wife. Their disagreement centers on morning routines, screen time limits, and weekend activities.

While OP advocates for a more relaxed approach, emphasizing the children’s capability, commenters overwhelmingly stress the importance of actively engaging in parenting responsibilities.

They argue that the wife’s expectations are reasonable, reflecting a shared belief in maintaining essential parenting standards for the well-being and development of the children, advocating for a more involved and cooperative approach from OP.

What do you think? Let us know in the comments. Do you also think the OP from this social media post was wrong?

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Pri Kingston

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