Navigating Friendship and Feminism – The Shaving Dilemma Unraveled

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In today’s world, where personal choices often collide with societal expectations, the realm of friendship can become a complex and sensitive battleground. Recently, a social media user found herself at the center of a heated online debate after posing a question that touched on individual autonomy, feminism, and the delicate dynamics of friendship.

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Emily’s Unique Protest

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The original poster (OP), a 29-year-old woman, begins by introducing her friend, Emily, a vibrant 32-year-old woman. Emily’s character is painted as a delightful blend of qualities. OP shared that Emily is fun, adventurous, intelligent, an exceptional cook, outgoing, and an all-around great person to be around.

However, Emily made a profound decision a few years ago: she chose to stop shaving her legs, armpits, and female areas as a form of protest against what she perceived as patriarchal beauty standards. The result of this decision was a striking visual statement, as long, dark hair graced her body.

Dating Advice Gone Wrong

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The plot thickens when, during a casual beer session, Emily confides in OP about her less-than-ideal dating life. Despite her remarkable personality and talents, Emily finds herself in a dating predicament. Emily enjoys exciting dates but struggles to secure follow-ups or, when she musters the courage to ask for second or third dates, often faces rejection in a disappointingly generic manner.

In a well-intentioned but potentially ill-advised move, OP decides to step out of her comfort zone and offer Emily some advice. OP acknowledges the superficiality of her suggestion but gently proposes, “I know this is a very superficial thing to say, but do you think it might help a little if you would shave?”

The Fallout

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The reaction is swift and intense. Emily is taken aback, feeling as though her friend is asking her to change her appearance to cater to male preferences, which she perceives as a form of oppression. The evening takes a sour turn, and despite OP’s immediate apology, the rift remains.

The next day, OP extends another apology via text, but Emily remains unresponsive. In her quest for clarity and reconciliation, OP turns to the online community, seeking their judgment on whether she was, in fact, wrong for her suggestion.

Online Opinions

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User Effective_Pie1312 aptly pointed out,

“Not shaving is a value statement. She is looking for a partner in life that has the same values. By telling her to shave, you are telling her to change her values just to get a man. Being single is not the end of the world.”

This comment sheds light on the fundamental issue of personal values and compatibility in relationships. Emily’s choice to keep her body hair represents a deeply-held belief, and any pressure to change that could compromise her authenticity.

Going_88mph shared a personal anecdote, highlighting that she, too, has body hair but is in a loving relationship with a man who accepts her as she is.

This comment underscores the idea that individuals should prioritize their comfort and self-expression over conforming to societal standards, especially when seeking genuine connections.

More Inputs

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Emtaesealp weighed in, emphasizing that Emily had likely considered the suggestion before. Bringing up the comparison to unconventional hair dye or piercings, they questioned whether a friend would have similarly advised against such personal choices.

This perspective underscores the importance of respecting an individual’s autonomy in matters of personal appearance.

Tyberious_, however, offered a slightly different viewpoint.

“You just suggested the reason she may be having problems with dating. You are also probably correct. Of course she is free to do whatever she wants with her body and they may not meet others preferences, which means they may not want to date her. This may mean they miss out on a great person for superficial reasons but that is a choice they are free to make.”

This comment highlights the harsh reality that dating often involves superficial judgments, even if it means missing out on great connections for shallow reasons.

A Final Show Of Support

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On a similar note, GoldenSterling provided a voice of reason in the midst of online outrage. The user encourages empathy and understanding, emphasizing that offering an honest opinion to a friend is a sign of genuine concern.

“If she doesn’t want to shave that’s cool but you gave her an honest opinion. That’s a real friend. Some of these responses are unhinged. Don’t take them personally.”

The Verdict

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In the aftermath of the online debate sparked by OP’s well-intentioned advice, it’s clear that the issue of body hair and personal choices in relationships is multifaceted.

Emily’s decision not to shave represents her deeply-held values, and suggesting otherwise risks compromising her authenticity. Commenters rightly emphasized the importance of self-acceptance and seeking partners who align with one’s values.

While dating may involve superficial judgments, the consensus is that genuine connections should be based on shared beliefs rather than conformity to societal standards. In the end, Emily’s choice is hers alone, and the right partner will appreciate her for the amazing person she is, regardless of her grooming choices.

What do you think? Let us know in the comments. Do you think the OP from this social media post was wrong?

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Pri Kingston

Ash & Pri are the Founders of and have spent the last decade building their way towards financial freedom and a lifetime of memories. Having successfully achieved their early retirement goal in under 10 years, they look forward to sharing their financial sense with like-minded people. Read more about Ash & Pri in the 'About Us' section.