They say every safety warning ever written was done so in blood (literally, someone somewhere tried it and it didn’t end well).
There are plenty of corporate “cover-your-behind” legalese disclaimers these days, but most of these bizarre labels slapped on commonplace objects were learned the hard way. So here are 8 common items with safety warnings that are really strange.
Hair dryers: “Do Not Use While Sleeping”
This sounds like someone’s idea of a prank. But back in the mid-century, blow dryers were commonly attached to “bonnet-style” hats that you place on your head. People would fall asleep with the heat blowing directly on them, and soon enough, either the targeted heat would melt the unit into their heads or ignite the pillows around them.
Thankfully, with handheld models, reported incidents are few, but there have been cases of people using a hair dryer while sleeping just to warm up their beds and ending up with 3rd degree burns over half their bodies or starting house fires.
Superman costumes: “This Cape Does Not Enable User to Fly”
Back when superheroes were at the peak of their powers in the 1960s and 70s, manufacturers quickly learned that kids take these characters way too seriously.
When dressed in a Superman costume, kids would actually run around believing they had Superman’s powers. Emergency rooms across the country were filing incident reports involving toddlers jumping off their parents’ garage roofs (or tall chairs) with capes on, expecting to fly. That warning became necessary.
Folding strollers: “Remove Child Before Folding”
When repeated cases of child “entrapment” injuries came in from caregivers trying to fold strollers with their kid still buckled in, this suddenly became federally mandated safety text.
Collapsing older-style metal-frame models with just one hand forced some caregivers to start folding with the child halfway in the seat. The unit would “pinch” together with enough force to literally tear open flesh.
Now we have this ridiculous but necessary blunt text splashed across every folding stroller’s handle.
Microwave ovens: “Do Not Use to Dry Pets”
This is a microwave safety warning that spawned dozens of local news urban legends. When microwave ovens were first introduced into the marketplace during the 1970s, the science of electromagnetic cooking was wholly misunderstood by the general public.
Some owners (mistakenly) figured microwaves dried hair, so why not give their pets a quick flattening while helping them shake off the rain?
After a high-profile lawsuit involving a woman and her wet poodle, manufacturers added the warning to clarify that microwaves are for food, not living beings.
Irons: “Do Not Iron Clothes While Wearing Them”
Been tempted to “quickly touch up that wrinkled blouse” with your arm still in it? Think again. Because irons can reach temperatures of 400°F (over 200°C) and up, you will most likely burn yourself very badly by trying to iron your clothes while they are being worn.
After too many frantic people tried to “save time ironing”, clothing brands like Rowenta made this label standard.
Chainsaws: “Do Not Attempt to Stop Chain With Hands or Ge***als”
Swedish chainsaw manufacturer (and several of their U.S. counterparts) attracted worldwide attention a few years back when they printed this awkward warning on their product labels. “Hands” sound logical, but “ge***als”?
The truth is, many chainsaw injuries happen when the saw “kicks back” while the operator is standing over the wood. Given the angles most people naturally hold the tool at, there have been countless incidents where the groin was the first thing an out-of-control spinning blade encountered.
Coffee cups: “Caution: Hot Beverages are Hot”
Remember the famous McDonald’s “Hot Coffee Lawsuit” from 1992? While most of America thought the woman was crazy, she actually suffered third-degree burns in five seconds because McDonald’s was serving coffee at near-boiling temperatures (180°F to 190°F).
Thanks to her case, every coffee container has to have this obvious warning label on it, just so you know the delicious brown liquid inside will cause you terrible pain and disfigurement if you happen to spill it on your skin.
iPod shuffle: “Do Not Eat iPod Shuffle”
One of Apple’s greatest innovations in music players was also their sneakiest back in 2005. When they first released the original iPod Shuffle, they made it small.
Apple’s marketing departments compared the little device to a stick of gum. Concerned that kids (and adults) would literally eat the device like a stick of gum, they took no chances and included “Do Not Eat” with the first-generation iPod Shuffle boxes.
Sources: Please see here for a complete listing of all sources that were consulted in the preparation of this article.
11 strange items sold in American vending machines
When you think of vending machines, you most likely imagine them providing quick access to snacks. But across the United States, a growing number of vending machines are serving up a lot more than just chips and soda. People have been discovering vending machines selling the strangest items imaginable. Some are practical. Others are downright bizarre. Then there are the ones that are hard to believe.
