Listen closely to how a woman guards her time and energy, and you’ll learn about battles she fought by herself.
“I’m not doing that to myself again”
She experienced more heartache than she could handle and eventually reached a breaking point. She doesn’t know how to continue giving people second chances. No matter if it was a terrible relationship, a sour friendship, or a job that took its toll, it took a toll on her and she remembers how much it sucked.
Now, when someone tries to guilt trip her into allowing them to treat her the same way, she says, “I’m not doing that to myself again.” There is no need to get into a huge discussion.
“Let me pay for my own”
Debt is a hard concept to escape when someone has used gifts or money to manipulate you.
Such a woman won’t accept being in anyone’s debt ever again, even if it’s over something as small as grabbing dinner or coffee. Her instinct when dining out is now to simply say, “Let me pay for my own.”
“I’m not going to over-explain”
Some women grew up around hyper-critical personalities and developed the tiresome habit of elaborating extensive excuses to justify simple decisions.
Once she figures out that more explanation just invites unneeded flak, she’ll throw this into work emails and chats to keep things short and sweet.
“I don’t need a project”
Some women have spent years trying to be the fixer for boyfriend problems or friends who abused their kindness.
Amidst casual talks about dating or friends, she’ll toss this in phrase to convey she’s done trying to fix people and is after balanced, mature connections.
“I trust my gut on this”
If there’s one thing that gets drowned out when you’re being controlled by someone else, it’s intuition.
When a woman grows out of these types of relationships, she realizes that her gut instincts were trying to tell her the truth the whole time.
As a result, instead of always asking someone else for validation, she’ll say this when making big life decisions to silence the inner voice of self-doubt and block outside pressure.
“That’s not my job”
Society often trains women to be people-pleasers and problem-solvers, regardless of their personal connection to the issues. When you try to please everyone and clean up everyone else’s messes, you will burn yourself out without even knowing it.
Having learned some difficult lessons, a woman who has been through a lot, knows her limits and readily uses this phrase when anyone, be it a coworker or relative, tries to dump their problems on her.
“I’m taking a mental health day”
When tough girls push themselves until they’re physically or mentally broken, they learn that ignoring tiredness never pays off long term and they will crash.
Rather than fabricating a fake illness when she’s feeling swamped, such a woman will simply state she’s taking a mental health day to avoid a breakdown.
“I need to sleep on it”
It’s easy to make bad calls in the heat of the moment when you’re feeling a lot of pressure.
After past stumbles with hasty choices, a woman will use this line when faced with job offers, disagreements, or big life choices, demanding a day to let her rational mind take over before acting.
“I’m keeping this to myself for now”
It’s not always best to tell others your plans. Some will judge you. Others will steal your joy before you even get the chance to experience it.
After being disappointed several times, some women learn to keep their plans to themselves. When someone asks too many questions about what they’re up to, a woman might simply reply, “I’m keeping this to myself for now.”
She doesn’t need everyone knowing her every move and validating her decisions. Sometimes you just keep working on your goals and announce the news when you’re ready.
“I don’t have to prove anything to you”
Years of trying to earn the validation of a narcissistic parent, ex, or boss drains a soul.
She learned from enough heartbreak that she doesn’t need to justify herself to people. If they’re not willing to respect her, then there is no use in talking to them.
There are days when simply stating “I don’t have to prove anything to you” and walking away is all she needs.
“I’m good on my own”
Once a woman realizes that being alone is exponentially better than keeping bad energy around, this phrase becomes planted in her vocabulary. She’s never bitter when reciting this to people who question her relationship status or hobbies she enjoys by herself.
And she simply says it because she is at peace, and will only allow people into her life who aren’t going to disturb that.
“That’s a ‘them’ problem”
Strong women are empathetic. They take it personally when someone else is upset or blows up at them. Sometimes a woman will sit there and question herself for hours when someone snaps at her, even if it had nothing to do with her.
However, after experiencing this once or twice, she realizes she can’t control how other people behave and that other people’s bad days aren’t hers to solve.
So when someone attempts to lay blame for something that isn’t hers to own, she starts to remind herself, “That’s on them.”
“I need to check my calendar first”
She’s literally just checking her calendar, but sometimes she just needs a minute before responding.
A woman who has spent years saying yes to everything eventually learns how draining it can be, especially when she’s afraid of disappointing others.
She told herself she’d never allow herself to get burned out again, so now when she doesn’t have the bandwidth to accept anything else she’ll say, “I need to check my calendar first.” It buys her time to decide, and lets her have an easier way to say no without having to agree immediately.
Sources: Please see here for a complete listing of all sources that were consulted in the preparation of this article.
Like our content? Be sure to follow us.
If you grew up hearing these 14 phrases, your mother might have been emotionally harmful
Some of the most emotionally harmful forms of parenting don’t always sound cruel at the time, but they’re disguised as guilt or concern, maybe even love.
If you grew up hearing these 14 phrases, your mother might have been emotionally harmful
