Some habits don’t immediately look like problems, but here are ten habits that suggest a man may be a low-quality person.
When it counts
He seems like someone who likes being in charge at first, and he’ll step in to make decisions, speaking with certainty the entire time. Then you notice a change when something actually goes wrong.
Now, he’s harder to find, and he’ll explain it away or perhaps redirect the blame for the problem. It’s something that studies on narcissistic behavior have looked into.
Apparently, narcissistic men tend to seek status, and they often react poorly to failure, including becoming angry or withdrawing. They’ll keep their confidence when things are going okay, but then those feelings disappear as soon as you ask them for some responsibility.
The small push
Make sure you keep an eye on how he treats boundaries. A guy who treats them as flexible, especially when they don’t work in his favor, is the kind of guy who you’ll want to stay away from.
He’ll circle back on the boundaries and joke about them, perhaps even treating them as though they’re things that’ll change again later.
Consent is something that you should be able to give freely, without feeling any pressure or being persistently worn down. Refusal communication studies say that repeatedly pushing someone is a way of normalizing disrespect.
Is that really the sort of guy that you want to be around?
The mirror stays on
After spending a bit of time around him, you might notice that conversations tend to go in one direction. He likes recognition, and he likes being noticed.
He very rarely misses a chance to bring attention back to himself, yet another person’s achievement doesn’t get the same response. It’s all because he’s looking for constant validation.
He doesn’t want the attention to move anywhere else, and he’ll react negatively whenever that might happen. The truth is, he’s self-centered and lacks empathy for other people. Praise flows one way, more often than not, so don’t expect anything more from a guy like that.
The version he sells
The stories he tells are a little too polished, and the details stretch slightly before changing completely over time. It doesn’t matter what he’s talking about.
Somehow, the job sounds like more responsibility than it is, and the experience appears more impressive than it actually was. It might not seem obvious in the moment, but the details don’t add up.
Research shows that lies like these are forms of Machiavellianism and psychopathy. In fact, one study found that people with higher narcissistic rates are more likely to show self-centered dishonesty in relationships.
All he cares about is making sure that the version of himself looks consistent, regardless of what the facts actually are.
The costume
He talks about being dominant and disciplined as though he’s ahead of everyone else. Sure, it sounds convincing at first. But take a closer look, and you’ll notice that there’s very little structure behind it, nor is there anything that actually supports the idea of power that he keeps talking about.
Research on masculinity contest culture has looked into this. It turns out, some men prefer to engage in an environment where they’re obsessed with proving their dominance over building any useful habits or discipline.
That’s where the differences appear to lie. No matter how strong their language might be, there’s no follow-through to actually support what they’re saying.
The same turn
Conversations tend to go a certain way with some men when they’re talking about women. More often than not, it becomes suggestive and focused on appearance, becoming a pattern for the way in which they view women generally.
Research from the American Psychological Association refers to it as sexual objectification.
In other words, it’s the kind of guy who treats a woman as simply a body, rather than an actual person.
They’ll behave this way, verbally and nonverbally, when they’re interacting with them. A guy like that is a guy who has very little respect for women, and certainly isn’t someone you should waste your time talking to.
The blank space
So many guys describe themselves as being unemotional or unaffected, forgetting the fact that anger is indeed an emotion. There’s also the issue that a guy who thinks this way often lacks any engagement with his own feelings.
It’s actually something that research claims leads to a guy having difficulties with identifying and expressing emotions.
Studies on men’s mental health also show that traditional masculine norms tend to encourage guys to suppress their emotions, rather than regulate them.
The result? They become guys who respond by shutting down under pressure, and you probably don’t want to deal with anyone like that.
Around softer men
You’ll also notice such behavior when he’s around a guy who’s relaxed and trying not to act tough. It doesn’t take long for the comments to start.
At first, they might be jokes about how he talks or what he’s into, but they keep coming back, because the guy’s trying to push back against someone who doesn’t follow masculine norms.
It’s especially true when ‘softer’ guys show emotion or simply choose not to dominate those around them. Continually feeling like you have to stay tough gets exhausting.
In fact, research shows that it can actually reduce a man’s ability to connect with other people, and that’s never a good thing.
The audience in his head
You might feel a little confused about some of the choices that he makes, and that’s when you should think about who he’s trying to impress. He may not necessarily be doing what works best for him.
Instead, he might be choosing to do things that look good to other men, and that’s because low-quality guys care a lot more about sticking tightly to masculine norms.
They put way too much importance on conforming to pressure in male groups. This includes making decisions about money or behavior, even relationships, that’ll give them the sense of external approval that they’re looking for.
In reality, these sorts of men have very low personal standards.
The untouched area
There’s usually a clear pattern to the things that he avoids. Anything that could expose a weakness or force him to learn something new is something that he’ll push aside, whether that’s communication or health.
It’s a kind of self-handicapping that low-quality men engage in to protect their self-image.
They’ll completely avoid challenging situations because they don’t want to require help from those around them, as desiring help conflicts with their idea of independence. They don’t want to improve.
No, all they desire is to protect what’s already there, rather than trying to become better people.
Sources: Please see here for a complete listing of all sources that were consulted in the preparation of this article.
