It’s not always a huge betrayal that changes a relationship, but sometimes, it’s one little thing that makes a woman start looking at her man differently.
The silence at family dinner
Perhaps his mother makes a comment about her cooking, or maybe his brother laughs at something she said. Her man just sits through it all. No, he doesn’t defend her, and no, he doesn’t tell his family that they’ve gotten too comfortable with criticizing her.
Conflict with in-laws can have a serious effect on marital satisfaction, and it’s especially bad for wives. They care a lot about how their husbands behave during those clashes. She’s not expecting him to start a family feud, but still, saying absolutely nothing is kind of lousy.
He can see exactly how much she’s carrying
He can’t see that the sink is full. He doesn’t see that dinner still needs finishing and that one of the kids can’t find a shoe because, well, he’s waiting to be told what to do. Dealing with that sort of man gets real old, real fast.
Women don’t like being the ones who always have to notice the problem and assign the job. They don’t like having to explain it, either. It gets to the point where asking for help feels like yet another task, and that’s too much to deal with.
A different man when he’s angry
Every couple argues over dumb things sometimes, like the dishwasher and who forgot to buy milk. That’s normal. The problem comes when the anger turns mean, and he starts mocking her voice or throwing out insults. He might start sneering, too.
Those sorts of mean comments are a sign of a bad guy, and most women aren’t going to put up with that. They know that these guys are very unlikely to change. Put it this way, a fight can blow over, but being deliberately humiliated is harder to file away.
The truth comes with a price
He tells her to be honest, and she admits she’s worried about money. He then gets angry, or worse, he ends up using that fear against her in an argument later on. Unfortunately, some guys punish a woman’s honesty, and it crosses a major line.
Dealing with that punishment makes honesty a lot less appealing for a woman. A guy shouldn’t treat every vulnerable conversation like a future weapon. If he does, then she might stop giving him anything worth using.
Her world stops getting questions
There was probably a time when he wanted the whole story, including who said what and how the meeting went. Then it all changes. Yes, the questions dry up, and all she gets is a ‘huh’ when she tells him a story.
Maybe she doesn’t even get that, maybe she only gets a distracted nod while he looks at his phone. Women, like most people, want to feel like the other person is paying attention to them. A guy who fails to do that might as well start saying goodbye now.
She barely gets the sentence out
She says, ‘Could you maybe…’ and he already starts sighing, even though she hasn’t even finished asking yet. He might roll his eyes and say something about how she’s always complaining. He may start explaining why he can’t do whatever she’s going to ask for yet.
It’s mean. These sorts of reactions are a kind of damaging conflict habit, and they’re a strong sign of a poor relationship. But the strangest part is that the original request almost disappears. Now, they’re arguing about her asking at all, and many women decide it’s over at that point.
Somehow, he suddenly can’t do it
He might be able to do a dozen different things at work, no matter who asks for them. It’s a different story at home. He doesn’t seem to know how to use the washing machine or what food the kids normally eat. Don’t even get him started on the cleaning supplies.
Women hate it when guys act helpless around basic adult tasks, particularly when these guys are perfectly capable of doing them. Women already do most of the household work. That’s why, when a guy can’t pull his own weight, they’re done with it all.
His Saturday belongs to him
Some guys get kinda strange about their free time. They act as though theirs is protected, but when it comes to their girlfriend’s or wife’s free time, it’s a different story. It becomes negotiable instead.
That’s not fair, and a lot of women take it as a sign of disrespect. Because it is. If a guy can’t respect a woman’s time, then there’s very little chance that he’s going to respect other parts of her life.
Her feelings become a court case
She says, ‘I’m unhappy.’ The way he reacts to hearing that is very telling. Some guys decide that it’s time to debate whether she has a right to feel that way, rather than addressing why she’s upset. It forces her to defend her feelings. She shouldn’t have to do that.
It’s essentially a form of emotional invalidation that dismisses or simply rejects her emotional experience. She’s unlikely to put up with that kind of behavior. She’s not going to hang around to prove that she was allowed to be upset.
The old affection turns into embarrassment
It hurts seeing someone get embarrassed by the things they used to like about you. Once upon a time, her loud laugh was funny when they were dating, but now he gives her a look across the table. Her rambling stories are things he cuts short.
Fondness is important in any relationship, and long-term romantic relationships are no different. Contempt usually works in the opposite direction. For some women, seeing this sort of behavior is when their sense of attraction starts to disappear.
Attention arrives with competition
It’s funny how quickly date night makes a comeback. It’s usually when another guy starts flirting with her, and she sees through that. He barely noticed her new haircut, but now he has plenty of compliments because another man is around.
Many women don’t see that kind of jealousy as attractive. More often than not, they think that the effort has arrived too little, too late, because they wanted that interest earlier. They wanted it when nobody else was watching.
Sources: Please see here for a complete listing of all sources that were consulted in the preparation of this article.
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