Female psychopaths rarely behave erratically; they strategize and manipulate quietly to get precisely what they want.
Perfect copy
She may appear to be your soulmate or sister you’ve never had when you first meet her, because she is mirroring your values and personal history back to you.
She’s not just trying to agree with everything you say; she’s collecting data on your weaknesses to create a fake personality that will feel safe to you.
Psychopaths use this mirroring tactic to gain instant, unearned trust with people they want to manipulate. Once you fall for her, she uses that trust as emotional leverage against you during the devaluation phase of her cycle.
Conflict architect
She usually has something that everyone knows about everyone else, and she subtly poisons friends or coworkers against each other, while she sits pretty as the innocent person in the middle.
What she’s doing is called triangulation. She knows that if everyone is too busy fighting each other, no one will have an opportunity to see she is playing everyone else like a fiddle.
She can ensure she always appears to be the most loyal person in the room.
Constant misery
The male psychopath can brag about feeling in control right to your face. The female psychopath is far more subtle. She takes the victim approach.
She may seem like the biggest victim, constantly getting hurt or mistreated. People love victims. They draw you in, and you feel sorry for them. Suddenly, you are doing all you can to take care of them and look out for them.
Psychologists studying traits such as manipulation and lack of empathy (part of the so-called “Dark Tetrad”) have discovered this strategy is effective because people are more willing to help someone they perceive as vulnerable.
Hollow care
You may or may not detect any warmth from her when she has children or animals. If she does care for them, you’ll notice how it often feels staged, or like a public relations effort.
She could go overboard with nurturing or bonding through motherhood, volunteering, or other activities to impress people, but when people aren’t around, she’s cold as ice.
This absence of feeling is rooted in a brain that doesn’t utilize bonding hormones, such as oxytocin, like most people’s brains do.
The Duper’s Delight smile
Watch for brief flashes of inappropriate smiling when she thinks she’s gotten away with something, or if someone else gets hammered with bad news. It’s known as “Duper’s Delight.” And it’s real.
It’s literally a micro-expression of joy that comes from her neurotransmitters firing off when she’s able to manipulate and feel powerful over you.
Hyper-femininity
A frequent tactic of hers is pretending to be extremely feminine. Too flirtatious, sweet, or “damsel-like,” she does it to manipulate both men and women.
She’ll use it to charm her way into a promotion at work, get her neighbor to do her a favor, or even coax a police officer not to press charges. Unlike genuine kindness, it always feels like a trade.
The fake charm only turns on when she wants something and goes off the second she thinks she no longer has the upper hand.
Painproof
Doesn’t it seem like she never freaks out, even when things get really intense?
Psychopaths have what’s known as a “low fear response.” Her heart won’t race, and her palms won’t sweat when she’s being chased or caught in a bad situation.
This can also present itself as insensitivity to pain or not having a startle response when someone jumps out at her.
Her movements sometimes suggest an absence of natural reflexes. And her body literally doesn’t know how to be scared.
Split faces
She can be religious with one group of friends and a hardcore party girl with others.
You’d never know she associates with both groups because she keeps these sides of her life completely separate.
Sure, everyone shows different sides of their personality around different people, but her sides aren’t sides at all. They’re full-on fake personas she adopts to take advantage of certain groups of people.
She has no “true self” to revert back to, so she acts how she thinks will gain her the most power at the time.
Memory strike
She never forgets when you wronged her, even if it was years ago. And she’ll bide her time, waiting for the perfect opportunity to strike back.
Everything in her mind is about winning or losing, and she refuses to let anyone win against her.
It’s less about being petty and more about methodically ruining the good name or happiness of anyone who crossed her.
Grooming
Similar to how predators groom their prey, she grooms her friends.
She tests your limits by asking you small favors or accidentally disrespecting you to see how much you will allow.
You let her lie to you about something small? She’ll graduate to bigger and bolder lies. You let her borrow money and not pay you back? She’ll eventually ask you for your car or your house.
She does this with everyone to figure out who is the most flexible and will allow her to get away with as much as possible. By the time you see you’re the sole giver, she’s already woven herself into your life, making you believe you need her.
Sources: Please see here for a complete listing of all sources that were consulted in the preparation of this article.
