House Rules and Heartache – A Father’s Dilemma with His Wayward Daughter

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In the vast realm of family dynamics, there often emerges a narrative fraught with complex emotions and tough choices. This particular tale revolves around a father who, after a tumultuous past with his daughter, found himself facing a pivotal decision. The question on the table: Is he the villain or a vigilant guardian?

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A Heartfelt Dilemma

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On a popular social media platform, the original poster (OP) poured out his heart and soul, seeking guidance from a virtual jury of strangers. What followed was a heated discussion, with passionate opinions flying in from all corners of the digital world.

The original post in question revealed OP’s plight. OP’s 23-year-old daughter, with a turbulent history, reached out to him with a request to move back in. The backstory was a rocky one – he had financially supported her education, only to discover she had dropped out and misappropriated the funds that were provided to her as college fees.

A Career OP Doesn’t Approve Of

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As OP narrated the painful story, he mentioned that his daughter had ventured into a stripping profession during her college years to earn some extra cash. As a result, OP shared that he terminated all support and their relationship had been strained since, leading to a period of no contact.

Amid this silence, OP’s daughter reached out to him and asked if she could stay at his place for a while. This time, OP decided to set a stringent set of rules before allowing her back into the family home.

Strict Conditions For Reconciliation

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The conditions were as follows:

  • Repayment for college expenses.
  • Pursuit of a respectable job, excluding her previous stripping profession.
  • Adherence to cleanliness standards in her living area.
  • Restriction on bringing guests over, citing trust issues with her friends.
  • A dry house – prohibition of alcohol.
  • A zero-tolerance policy for all forms of drugs, including recreational marijuana, even if legal in their state.
  • A strict no to supporting her boyfriend or friends financially.

OP’s decision to impose these rules triggered an intense argument with his daughter, who viewed them as petty and unreasonable and even went on to call OP a jerk. OP shared that family and friends also weighed in, asking OP to step up and let her daughter in.

OP, in a state of confusion, turned to the online community seeking their advice if he did something wrong.

Online Opinions

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User thea****lethrowawa, ignited the discussion with a provocative comment.

“She doesn’t have to live with you. You are just an option, if she doesn’t like the rules she can continue to go no contact and live her life the way she pleases.”

This viewpoint underscored the idea of personal choice. The comment seemed to emphasize the significance of personal agency and the fact that, as an adult, she was not obliged to comply with her father’s wishes.

Glenn_Coco69 offers a perspective on tough love.

“Let’s be real, if you ‘help’ without boundaries, you are enabling this person. Your daughter sounds like she needs some sober living honestly. It will do her some good.”

This comment emphasizes the need for the daughter to address her issues, particularly related to her lifestyle choices, before seeking support.

More Support For The Strict Rules

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RoyallyOakie acknowledged the existence of rules in any living situation, asserting,

“There are rules to any living situation. Yours are strict, but it’s your home, and you’re being upfront beforehand. She can accept the conditions or find something else.”

The sentiment suggests that OP is being upfront and honest, providing the daughter with a choice rather than imposing control.

Lastly, DangerDarrin echoes the sentiment that life can be challenging, and OP’s stance aligns with what most would do in this situation.

“I think that most people would do the same as you with her history.”

This suggests a level of empathy for OP’s predicament, as he has had to make a difficult choice, likely driven by concern for his daughter’s wellbeing.

The Verdict

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In the case of OP and his 23-year-old daughter, it’s evident that this is a challenging situation marked by strained trust and communication. OP’s decision to establish strict conditions for his daughter’s return home is a polarizing one.

Some online commenters support OP’s tough love approach, emphasizing the need for boundaries and personal responsibility. Others see it as excessively controlling, advocating for more empathy and trust in the daughter’s ability to make her own choices.

Ultimately, the verdict remains elusive, as the conflicting views highlight the complexities of family dynamics and the difficulty of striking the right balance between support and boundaries in such a troubled relationship.

What do you think? Let us know in the comments. Do you think the OP from this social media post was wrong?

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Pri Kingston

Ash & Pri are the Founders of and have spent the last decade building their way towards financial freedom and a lifetime of memories. Having successfully achieved their early retirement goal in under 10 years, they look forward to sharing their financial sense with like-minded people. Read more about Ash & Pri in the 'About Us' section.