Have you ever hit one of those adult milestones and thought to yourself, “wait, that’s it?” For years, we were told grown-up life involved achieving some specific things that meant you’d arrived. But the truth is, a lot of these milestones just don’t feel the same way anymore, whether that’s because they no longer matter or because we’ve changed. Here are twelve adult milestones that don’t mean what they used to. Which milestone felt empty to you?
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Getting a Driver’s License
There was a time when getting your license felt like you were finally free, and it made it seem as though the world was yours, as long as you had gas money. But these days, most teens are dragging their feet, and the majority of adults are happy to use Uber or ride the subway instead. You can legally drive, but do you even need to? Getting around without a car has become a lot easier & cheaper, which has made it much less impressive.
Owning a Full China Set
An entire department store industry was built on getting a full china set and most wedding registries included one. However, most people don’t even own matching plates anymore and any that they do are probably sitting untouched in a box at their parents’ house next to the fondue pot. These plates can’t go in the dishwasher and you’re probably scared to break them, so it just seems like a pointless venture.
Having a Wedding Registry
Speaking of wedding registries, people used to walk around department stores scanning silverware and slow cookers, which made them feel like they were building their new lives, piece by piece. These days, though, couples are more likely to already own air fryers and matching towels by the time they get married. Some don’t even bother with a registry and will ask for cash instead. Half the people you invite are probably just going to send a Venmo anyway.
Paying Off a Car Loan
Getting that final “you’re done” notice from your lender used to feel amazing because it meant the car was all yours, with no more monthly payments. Unfortunately, a lot of people never even make it that far and they’ll trade it in or roll the balance into a new loan. Loans are also stretching out to six or seven years, so a lot of people get bored with the car long before they ever stop paying for it.
Opening a Retirement Account
You used to feel proud when you finally opened a 401(k) and after someone at work walked you through it, you picked a few options without really knowing what they meant. Unfortunately, most people just never bother nowadays, and some jobs don’t offer retirement plans at all, while freelancers have to figure it out on their own. Saving for 40 years from now feels a lot less urgent when rent’s due this Friday.
Buying Life Insurance
The day you bought life insurance used to mean you were finally acting like a grown-up. Yet half the time now, people don’t even know if they have it through work, or they forget to check the box when they enroll in benefits. The idea of protecting “your family” doesn’t feel the same if you don’t have one, or if you’re still figuring out whether you want kids or a mortgage. You may not even be sure if you want anything with a long-term commitment.
Going to a 10-Year High School Reunion
At school reunions in the past, people would show up and look better than they did in 2008. Now, most reunions barely happen, and if they do, it’s just a Facebook post from someone who still lives in town asking who’s around. Social media already tells you who had kids, and who started selling essential oils, so nobody’s waiting for a school reunion to learn about everyone else’s life.
Being Named a Manager
Becoming a manager used to mean something, yet these days, the term could mean anything. Perhaps you’re managing a team of contractors for three months with no raise, or maybe it’s just a title HR gave you because they needed to fill in a box. Either way, getting promoted doesn’t always come with better hours or better pay. It may not even include a real sense of authority, just more meetings and longer email chains.
Hosting Thanksgiving For the First Time
Taking over Thanksgiving was important because it meant your parents trusted you to run the show, and you were finally in charge of the turkey. These days, it’s usually a group chat about who’s bringing what and someone volunteering because they have the biggest table. The idea of passing down the tradition just doesn’t feel like an achievement anymore, but rather, a standard part of the celebration.
Buying a Starter Home
“Starter home” once meant getting a small house at a reasonable price, which was your first step into becoming an adult. But now, it means “something under $500k if you’re lucky,” and a lot of people are still renting well into their 30s or 40s, even with good jobs. The whole idea that you could buy a cheap little house and move up over time doesn’t really work when prices have tripled and down payments take a decade to save. Home ownership is more of a fantasy than anything.
Having a Baby Shower
For baby showers, people used to rent halls and buy games, but now, some people don’t have one at all. They might feel weird being the center of attention, or maybe they don’t want to baby talk with people they barely know. Either way, it just doesn’t feel like a required step anymore, especially when parenting itself already comes with enough pressure, and a baby shower is a lot more.
Writing a Will
There’s a long list of things you’re supposed to do when you hit adulthood, and “write a will” is one of them, which was meant to show you had things in order. However, most people don’t have one, even if they should, while a lot of other people assume it’s something for later. Some people just don’t think they have anything worth passing down. It ends up becoming something that needs to be done yet they never do.
Which milestone felt empty to you?
Disclaimer: This list is solely the author’s opinion based on research and publicly available information.
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