Did you ever say something that’s a little off to someone else? We often use language that feels like it’s just taking up space or simply ending a conversation — but it’s actually quite passive-aggressive even when we don’t intend it to be. Here’s a look at 11 everyday sayings you might not know are actually pretty awful.
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“Fine.”
You actually mean to end the conversation or a conflict when you say “fine.” If you’re making dinner suggestions and someone gives you a “fine,” you may be put-off — because there’s something about it that makes it seem like they’re not entirely buying into it. It’s short and, quite frankly, a tell-tale sign you’re finished talking and just want to be done.
“Whatever.”
Having a conversation you need to end right away? Then, “Whatever” is like saying, “I’m done arguing now, but you didn’t actually get me.’ That kind of phrase makes you close the conversation out of anger or frustration, not acceptance. You basically tell people you don’t want to get more specific or settle anything. It leaves the other person feeling like you’ve abandoned them.
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“If You Say So.”
This one’s tricky. At first glance, “if you say so” is like saying that you support the other person. In reality, you’re actually casting more doubt on them. Every time you say this line, you start creating doubt about their authority or judgment, even if you’re just trying to agree politely. It’s a phrase that’s best left for when you want to be sarcastic, not genuine.
“No Offense, But…”
The saying “no offense, but…” is a heads-up to everyone that you’re saying something slightly off-color. It’s a heads-up no one asked for, and usually, it means you’re going to say something negative. And let’s face it, it almost always is. If you think you’re avoiding blame by asserting that you have nothing to do with someone’s hurt feelings, that’s not good.
“As I Previously Stated…”
When someone says, “As I said before,” you can hear their frustration. It’s the corporate equivalent of, “Were you listening to me before?” which tells people something that was already said. If you’re telling them they ignored it the first time, you’re just poking fun at their IQ or understanding, but in a more professional way.
“Good for You.”
In itself, “good for you” is a pat on the back, but how you say it completely flips the saying on its head and makes it less kind. Those three words can sound snobbish & sarcastic, like you’re pointing fun at something that really isn’t great. What you’re doing is basically making what was supposed to be a moment of pride something much worse.
“Thanks in Advance.”
“Thank you in advance” traps the other person into saying “yes” to something that they may not even want to accept yet. It’s also very bossy. You’re making a jump on it before they’ve said “yes” by expecting them to do the work you ask of them. After all, it’s much harder to say “no” when you’re already being thanked.
“I’m Not Mad.”
We’ve all heard the words, “I’m not mad,” and know it’s not true. Even though you look like you’re cooling off, everybody can tell you’re probably in your head, and it freaks them all out. They’ll question whether you’re actually fine or just saying that for now. Nobody wants to be in that position.
“Yeah, Yeah, Whatever You Want.”
“Yeah, yeah, whatever you want.” is the very opposite of being supportive. It’s you sitting back, but not in the right way. You’re just saying to the other person, “OK, you can manage it, but don’t come crying to me if it all fails.” Everyone thinks you’re washing your hands of the whole thing, and then they feel like you’re throwing everything away.
“I Could Be Wrong, But…”
“I could be wrong, but…” is a one-liner that you say when you’re going to give someone an opinion that they’re not quite ready to buy into. It’s like you’re saying something that you know will get you in trouble, but not actually admitting it. Don’t be that person. Instead, be open and honest with your opinions.
Disclaimer: This list is solely the author’s opinion based on research and publicly available information.
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