Friendship is a fundamental part of life. We rely on our friends to support us, have fun with us, and make us feel like part of a group. But sometimes, without even realizing it, you might be doing things that keep your friends away.
While small habits on their own might not seem like a big deal, we might suddenly find ourselves distanced from our friends because of them. Recognizing inappropriate tone and/or gestures will help us be more mindful & maintain healthy friendships.
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Being Self-Centered
It is easy to be pulled into your own tidal wave of need, but if you always treat your friends like talking heads, repeating just what you need from them – they will eventually feel bored. Friendships are not a one-way street. If your friends feel like you are the only one making a real effort, they will come to feel uncared for. In the long run, this will cause them to slowly drift away, and the friendship will feel one-sided.
Constantly Complaining
Of course we’re going to have bad days. But if you constantly complain to your friends, they will get tired because no one wants to be around negative people all the time. A little positivity will keep the cheerful energy in your circle.
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Not Keeping in Touch
Your friendships need some TLC. Don’t assume that your friends will fuss over you and wonder what’s wrong if you don’t return their calls, texts or messages. Don’t forget about them if they’re not around for a week and don’t cancel plans on them — or expect them to do the same for you. Nothing communicates disinterest in a friendship quite like ignoring texts and flaking out on plans or promises. Unless you keep in touch and maintain your end of the friendship, eventually your friends might stop as well.
Being Unreliable
Say you’re constantly flaking on friends, or never follow through on what you say you’ll do – your friends might start to see you as unreliable. Think of reliability as the glue that holds a relationship together – especially a dynamic, constantly evolving one like friendship. When your friends don’t know that they can count on you, it can make them lose trust in you.
Being Judgmental
We all have different choices in life. If you’re constantly criticizing your friends’ choices, that can put a bit of pressure on the friendship. Friends want to be accepted for who they are. If they think that you’re always judging them, then they might feel like they need to pull away. You should be able to support your friends even if you don’t always agree with them.
Always Needing to Be Right
You might disagree with your friend, that is fine. But if you are always trying to show that you are right, you will turn conversations into arguments. People get together and get to know each other when they feel listened to. If you are always insisting on being right – you are not making your friend feel heard, and this can cause frustration. It is better to let go of the need to get the win and allow your friends to talk.
Taking Advantage of Your Friends
A good friendship is reciprocal. If you are constantly making asks and spending all your time asking for a ride or scoring free food, you begin to give the impression that you are using your friends. They can start to feel exploited. They might eventually stop doing things for you. Being generous toward your friends and being generous with your time is important to maintaining friendships.
Disclaimer: This list is solely the author’s opinion based on research and publicly available information.
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