As parents, seeing our children make mistakes and bad decisions is always hard. For this father, let’s call him OP (original poster), it was even harder because he had tried to prevent his son from making a life-changing mistake.
After his son married at a young age and had two children, OP’s concerns about his son’s immaturity seemed to come true. The son and his wife separated, and OP’s daughter-in-law confided in him about the issues in their marriage.
OP tried to talk to his son about it, but the son refused to take responsibility for his actions and blamed his wife for everything.
Despite the counseling that followed, the couple ultimately filed for divorce. OP and his wife stepped in to help their daughter-in-law by providing financial assistance and finding her a place to live with her children.
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When the son announced his engagement to a new girlfriend before the divorce was even finalized, OP made it clear that he would not attend the wedding or give his blessing.
Instead, OP and his daughter spent the wedding evening with the daughter-in-law, offering support and comfort during a difficult time. The daughter-in-law was grateful for their presence and joked that they could now drop the in-law status and be sisters.
However, the son did not see it that way and accused OP of the ultimate form of betrayal.
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OP faced a difficult decision: attend his son’s wedding and ignore his own principles, or stand by his beliefs and offer support to someone he knew needed it. He chose the latter and, in doing so, showed his daughter-in-law that she was still considered family.
OP has now reached out to the Reddit community to ask fellow users if he made a mistake by skipping his son’s wedding and offering support to the daughter-in-law instead.
StAlvis supported OP’s decision, and his comment received 42K upvotes, indicating other users who agreed with the following statement,
“The best children are the ones you choose.”
User DragonCelica concurred, saying:
“Seriously, a girlfriend 3 days later, which turns into a fiancee after a month?! As OP said, there are two sides to every story, and more info can sometimes change the vote. This is not one of the times.”
mca2021 also supported OP’s decision to support his daughter-in-law, saying:
“What a beautiful way to put it. Like I tell my children, there’s your blood family, and then there’s your soul family, the one that consists of people that love and nurture you. Focus on your soul family (which often contains some blood relatives)
“I admire you for knowing who your son is and not condoning it and being there for your Ex DIL.”
Support continued to pour in for OP with user nurse-ratchet- saying,
“It sounds like you’re a reasonable parent who acknowledges when your kid is being an idiot. I don’t see anything wrong with you choosing to support the mother of your grandchildren, who he seems to have left in a bad spot.”
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While the son may feel betrayed, it is important to remember that every story has two sides. It is also important to recognize the impact of our actions on those around us, especially our loved ones. This father’s decision may not have been easy, but it was made with the best intentions and the desire to support someone in need.
Redditors overwhelmingly supported OP’s decision to be there for his daughter-in-law instead of attending his son’s second wedding.
What are your thoughts about this? Have you been in similar circumstances?
You can find the full thread here.
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