People love defending the idea of tradition, but then it becomes something that sets a forest on fire or humiliates teenagers, and then it becomes something worth stopping.
The October parade
Columbus Day parades sometimes feel a little awkward. We’re trying to celebrate two things that don’t really fit together anymore. Yes, there are many Italian American families who see the parades as part of their community. They faced a lot of discrimination in the past.
But the problem comes with celebrating Columbus himself. Schools teach kids that he ‘discovered’ a place where millions of people already lived. It’s a big contradiction. So big, in fact, that some schools have changed it to Indigenous Peoples’ Day instead.
The big reveal
Gender reveal parties have stopped being cake and balloons. Now, they’ve become action movies in somebody’s backyard. The El Dorado Fire in California actually started because of it. Yes, really. It was all because a family used a smoke device during their celebration.
Over in Iowa, a homemade gender reveal device exploded and actually killed a bystander. But people still keep doing this. No, you don’t need fireworks and dynamite. The baby hasn’t even been born yet. Announcing a child’s sex shouldn’t involve emergency responders.
The welcome ritual
Hazing is ‘just a tradition.’ Hazing ‘brings people together.’ At least, that’s what some people say. But what’s so brotherly about forcing someone to drink dangerous amounts of alcohol in a basement at 2 a.m.? In fact, some hazing incidents have led to death.
Near-poisoning freshmen shouldn’t be a funny college memory. Putting them in torture-like conditions isn’t brotherhood. Traditions shouldn’t regularly end with ambulances. When they do, they’ve stopped being a kind of team bonding activity.
The crowded table
Eating contests look fun. But only for about thirty seconds. Then, you’re watching somebody sweating through their food while the crowd is chanting. We’ve made eating into a competitive sport. However, there are so many risks involved.
There’s choking. There are stomach injuries. There are people training themselves to override their body’s normal signals to stop eating. Plus, the visuals aren’t great. Nobody looks dignified inhaling 74 hot dogs in ten minutes in July heat.
The classroom costume
Some American schools have the same tradition every November. They’ll give students construction-paper feathers and tell them to play ‘Pilgrims and Indians.’ That’s a problem. Unfortunately, lots of these costumes mix together completely different Native cultures.
They make them into a single cartoon version. It never existed. In some cases, kids don’t realize real tribes still exist today because schools present it like ancient Thanksgiving folklore. It’s not.
The father-daughter promise
Purity balls sound made up. They’re completely real. They involve fathers in tuxedos and daughters in white dresses. They also have promise ceremonies about virginity. Yes, really. These are formal dances built around discussing a girl’s future private life.
It started back in the late 1990s. It spread across dozens of states. Yet, somehow, nobody’s ever bothered to talk about how weird the whole thing is. A regular father-daughter dance is fine. A dance that includes pledges about purity is just uncomfortable.
The tiny crown
Let’s get one thing straight. Child beauty pageants are already kind of weird. But once toddlers enter the picture, it becomes even worse. Why do tiny children need spray tans? Why do they need fake eyelashes and giant hairpieces? Why are adults scoring them on their appearance?
It’s wrong. We shouldn’t be giving preschoolers a contouring routine. We shouldn’t be objectifying young girls in these sorts of environments. Kids don’t need any of that. Let them be kids.
The victory mess
There’s something so American about celebrating a sports win with toilet paper. Auburn University’s Toomer’s Corner is one of the most famous examples. Sure, it looks funny at first. Then you realize the truth behind it.
The paper ends up everywhere. Somebody has to clean it up while everyone else goes home, pretending it was school spirit. It’s bad for the homes. It’s bad for the environment. Why do we keep doing it?
The white gloves
Debutante balls are pretty theatrical. There’s a teenage girl wearing a giant dress, and she does carefully rehearsed curtsies. Then she gets introduced to society. Relatives stare at her from around the table. In some cases, the event costs thousands of dollars for the family.
The idea comes from old upper-class traditions about wealth and status. It still feels that way. Honestly, it’s hard to pretend that it’s just an innocent dance because the whole thing treats a girl like an object. It’s an obsession over presentation and appearance.
Sources: Please see here for a complete listing of all sources that were consulted in the preparation of this article.
