By the time you’re fifty or sixty, you know exactly what drains your energy, and you’re not willing to put up with or show any patience towards them.
A few extra steps
There used to be a time when paying a bill involved writing a check or calling a number. But not anymore. No, you’re supposed to download the app and verify your device. Then you have to check your email for a code. The session’s usually expired by the time you’re done.
Yes, a lot of people find this annoying. But it’s especially irritating for older people. Why? Because they remember a time when it wasn’t this way. They remember a time when paying for things was a lot simpler, and they’re tired of it all now.
The soft voice
Older people sometimes ask questions because they actually want an answer. Groundbreaking, we know. But so many young people assume the older person is confused. They speak extra slowly and smile too hard. Worst of all, they use that weird kindergarten voice.
Young people think they’re being polite. They’re not. It’s pretty patronizing to assume and treat old people like this. They’d prefer youngsters to speak clearly and make eye contact. Assuming confusion helps nobody.
The fancy version
It’s no fun getting older and realizing you don’t understand what people are telling you. Optimize the experience? Circle back? They’re exhausted with all these trendy words. A simpler word would be a lot better.
That’s not to say they hate slang. Definitely not. Their problem is that so many young people use corporate word soup to give basic instructions, and it’s pretty annoying. Plain language is a lot better. It keeps simple ideas simple.
The familiar number
You notice something funny about family phone calls when you’re older. Weeks will go by, and you’ll hear nothing. But then, out of nowhere, someone calls you and tells you about how they need money or childcare. How rude.
Older people have spent decades being the dependable ones. The patterns become so obvious. That doesn’t make them hurt any less, though. Sadly, it’s a kind of financial abuse that’s way too common with older adults. They don’t want to deal with that anymore.
The checkout dance
It’s weird how you have to scan a QR code for practically everything now. Older people feel especially annoyed by it. Yes, they know how to pay digitally, and yes, many of them do. They’re just tired of every single option being digital.
They don’t want everything tied to a device. What’s the harm in using paper menus or physical cards, anyway? Older people don’t have the patience to keep having to tap screens.
The confident lecture
Older people have been through a lot. They’ve suffered layoffs and funerals, for starters. They’ve dealt with scary medical calls, and they’ve raised kids. It’s taught them a lot. However, there’s always a twenty-three-year-old who thinks they have to explain life to older people.
They’ll speak with full confidence, but very little mileage. It’s a lot. Older adults won’t show that, though, and they’ll simply nod or smile along. But they’re frustrated. Experience doesn’t guarantee that they’re right, yet it does make it easier to spot when someone else is empty.Â
The background racket
There’s sound practically everywhere now. You’ll hear a video playing in a waiting room, and somebody chatting loudly on their phone in a grocery store. Older people hate it. It turns out there’s a real reason for that, apparently.
Medical research shows that older adults are way more likely to struggle with having a conversation when there’s background noise. They don’t have an attitude when they ask someone to ‘turn that down.’ No, they’re just struggling to separate the voices. It’s not their fault.
The easy answer
Telling someone it’s ‘probably just age’ is ruder than you might think. Older people don’t like it. Knee pain? That’s age. Fatigue? That’s also age. Age, age, age. It’s enough to wear mature people’s patience thin. It’s not fair to dismiss someone’s symptoms without asking questions.
Repeated pain isn’t something you can brush off as normal aging. Plus, older people most likely know their bodies a lot better than other people. Most likely, for sure.
The old story
Another thing older people are tired of hearing is how ‘easy’ life was in the past. According to young people, older adults could buy a dirt-cheap house. They could all get gas for next to nothing. That’s where the story stops.
It completely ignores how older people went through recessions and war drafts. It ignores the reality of unsafe jobs and legal discrimination. The truth is, many older adults worked full-time while worrying about rent. They didn’t live life on easy mode.
The person beside them
Here’s one that older adults experience every time they go into the doctor’s office. They’ll answer every question clearly and understand everything being said. But then? The nurse turns to their adult child. They explain everything to them instead. Ouch.
It bothers a lot of older people. Bringing support doesn’t mean you’re giving up your voice. It really isn’t fair to treat an older person like a child with their parent. How would you feel if that happened to you?
The surprised look
An older person tells a funny joke or mentions their dating life. That’s enough to surprise some young people. They seem to assume that older people don’t know how to have fun. They act like old people lose their personality when they retire.
Let’s call it what it is. It’s ageism. You shouldn’t make assumptions about people just because of their age. But it’s something that happens much too often for older people. It gets older faster than the people themselves do.
The tech assumption
Young people think they’re being helpful when they ask older people, ‘Do you want me to do it for you?’ But it’s not helpful. Older people know how to text, and they know how to use technology. It’s not a huge issue for them.
The real problem here is how technology changes every month. Young people act like they’re superior because they understand how it works each time. It doesn’t feel good to be around someone like that.
The cheerful line
Sure, aging can be beautiful. But hearing how ‘these are your golden years’ or that ‘you’re wise now’ is tiring. People say them and ignore things like health problems. They don’t think about how older people have had to bury their friends.
That doesn’t mean older people hate positive conversations. They like them. However, they don’t want to hear slogans from people who haven’t been through the harder parts quite yet. Aging can be as beautiful as it can be ugly.
The missing paper
It’s normal for older people to take more medication than younger people. That’s part of the aging process. But what’s not normal is having to go on a portal to find out more information about your medication. Older people know this all too well.
They want the doctor to give them something physical. They want a paper with information about side effects and more, not a link to a site. Screens can help sometimes. But a piece of paper isn’t going to make you log out halfway through using it.
The mumble problem
It’s a stereotype that all older people are hard of hearing. It’s just not true. In reality, older people are tired of people mumbling or talking while eating. They’ll ask the other person to repeat it. But then, the other person assumes they’re suffering from hearing loss.
That’s annoying. It’s also simply not true. Older people just want other people to speak a little more clearly. Is that such a difficult thing to ask?
Sources: Please see here for a complete listing of all sources that were consulted in the preparation of this article.
