A lot of women get away with things in their marriages because they’re treated as jokes or normal wife behavior, but it’d be a completely different story if the roles were reversed.
The running joke
Every marriage has jokes. A lot of them revolve around the husband. You know, the joke about how he’s useless without her and how he can’t ever find the ketchup, how hilarious. It’s okay sometimes. But some women take it too far and make it their husband’s entire character.
They ‘joke’ all the time about how useless and pathetic he apparently is. He’s clueless in the kitchen. Imagine saying that about a woman. Nobody would think it was adorable, and they’d call it out for what it really is. Rightly so. It’s mean.
The strong one
Some women don’t care that their husbands are exhausted, and they’ll make their feelings absolutely clear. Doesn’t matter that he has work stress. Doesn’t matter that he’s got family issues. Men are supposed to deal with it because, well, that’s what men do.
But no. It wouldn’t be fair for a man to brush off his wife’s stress because she’s supposed to be strong, so why is it okay when a woman does it? Your gender doesn’t make your stress any easier on you.
The extra child
Calling your husband ‘one of the kids’ seems cute enough. But sit with it. That sort of language turns a grown man into a child and makes him sound like more of a problem than a solution. It’s not fair.Â
He might forget things sometimes and do things the wrong way occasionally, sure. Who doesn’t? A woman wouldn’t feel good if her husband talked about her like she was a child. In fact, it’d probably lead to a lot of questions about power imbalances in the relationship.
The private story
You might be surprised at how often women talk about their husbands. Sometimes, it’s about stuff that has no business leaving the marriage. Stuff about his body and what happens in the bedroom. She’ll share it over wine, everyone laughs, and nobody means anything bad by it.
That doesn’t make it hurt any less. A man who shares intimate details about his wife to his friends is humiliating her. But when a wife does it about her husband, she’s just chatting. How is that fair?
The little slogan
Happy wife, happy life. It’s a slogan that some women take to heart, maybe a bit too much. It’s fine to use it as a reminder not to start a fight over nothing, but it’s not fine when it becomes a rule. It shouldn’t be a way to control the house.
Women who believe in that phrase seem to think that her comfort’s more important than anything else in the relationship. It’s certainly way more important than his comfort. But try flipping it around. ‘Happy husband, happy life’ would definitely not be charming in the slightest.
The mother problem
It’s difficult. Dealing with mothers-in-law isn’t always easy, and yes, there are times when you definitely need boundaries. However, that’s not an excuse to control the relationship. Some women think it’s acceptable for them to manipulate their husband’s relationship with their mom.
Because, apparently, she’s got the right to do so. Not really. A husband wouldn’t be allowed to act that way about his mother-in-law because people would say he’s isolating his wife. They’d be right.
The couch sentence
After a fight, where does he go? Most sitcoms seem to think that the husband’s place is on the couch after an argument, even when it’s not his fault. She’s mad. Off he goes. But that’s not fair whatsoever because both adults should have the right to sleep in their bed.
When he’s mad, a husband wouldn’t be allowed to tell his wife to sleep on the couch. It’d be disrespectful, or controlling, even. Having your own space is acceptable, but kicking someone out of the bedroom as punishment certainly isn’t.
The safe target
They can take it. That’s what some women say about their husbands. Their husbands are bigger and less emotional, so they can take an emotional beating from their wives. They’re fine to be yelled at. They’re fine to get angry with. But are they?
Husbands definitely can’t unload on their wives in the same way. Saying that she’s calmer or less likely to push back wouldn’t be a good enough excuse. It should really work both ways, in all honesty.
The vanishing corner
Bit by bit, each part of his own space starts to disappear, both physically and mentally. The garage for his bikes becomes a storage space. Quiet Sunday mornings? Not anymore, they’re the time to run family errands. Men get that, of course. It’s how a marriage works.
But what they don’t understand is why they’re often expected to give up every private aspect of their own lives to prove that they love their family. They wouldn’t exactly make their wives surrender their lives for them.Â
The final answer
Looking to shut down a parenting conversation? Then just say, ‘Mom knows best.’ That seems to be the answer to every argument or discussion about how to raise kids. He could set a rule. But Mom knows best, so she changes it. It’s the same with bedtime and discipline.
It’s not fair for her to have the final word every single time, especially since saying ‘Dad knows best’ all the time would be wrong. He wouldn’t be allowed to override his wife in that way. No, people would say he’s being arrogant or even controlling.
The guessing game
The silent treatment is something way too common in a lot of marriages. In some cases, it’s not even the silent treatment, but more like the quieter treatment. These women expect their husbands to read their minds.
They act like it’s okay to give short, one-word answers to every question because he’s a man. He should be able to decode what she meant. It wouldn’t work the other way, though. He’d be called ‘exhausting’ for making his wife crack the code after every argument.
The scoreboard
Some marriages include a wife who becomes a kind of judge. She’ll say that her husband’s paycheck counts, but not enough. Same with the cleaning. She would’ve done it differently. It’s fine for her to turn the marriage and every habit into a scoreboard, apparently.
But imagine it the other way around. Imagine a man deciding that his wife’s work matters only when he approves of it. They’d probably go straight to the divorce lawyer, no questions asked.
The public smile
Marriage in a photo is sometimes completely different from marriage at home. That’s fine. But some women act as though their husbands are supposed to play the cheerful man on command.Â
They’ll tell him to smile here and comment something sweet. He’s meant to act normal so that her life looks better online, what’s wrong with that? Everything. It’s fake, and it’s not right to make someone a trophy husband or wife online.
Sources: Please see here for a complete listing of all sources that were consulted in the preparation of this article.
