If you’re dating an older woman, you’ve likely noticed that much of what people say about relationships with older women isn’t exactly true.
Domestic goddess
People assume that just because you’re dating a woman who isn’t fresh out of college, that she must be dying to spend her Saturday roasting chickens and setting up a Pinterest-perfect home together. Absolutely not.
Chances are she’s been running households and cooking meals for kids or bossing high-powered careers her whole life and wants to do less work now, not more. She’ll be the first to hit you up with “let’s get takeout” or “let’s call someone to clean.”
Most people over 35 just value their time more than the antiquated title of “homemaker.”
Project fix
People think that older women go for young guys to mold them into something better, just like new cars.
Yes, of course they love a man with potential, but most women don’t want to mom their man or spend their lives fixing some random dude’s mistakes.
They want a partner that doesn’t need fixing. If you arrive radiating desperation, she’ll leave because she’s not there to fix you.
Sugar mama
I know money can be attractive. But, just because the older woman you date has a career, it doesn’t automatically mean she’s looking to foot your expenses and shower you with fancy meals and drinks.
Chances are she worked hard for her money and wants to keep it that way.
She wants you to support yourself too. While she’s okay with splitting the bills (and may even prefer it), she’s used to being alone and likes her independence.
Keep in mind, these women have had their entire lives to save up for retirement. Even if she’s inclined to be generous and occasionally indulge you, don’t count on a wealthy older woman to fund your shopping sprees.
Younger fear
A common misconception about dating an older woman is that she will constantly feel threatened by younger women in your orbit. Oddly enough, it’s usually the opposite that rings true.
She’s unbothered by any perceived rivals, recognizing her own value and knowing that a younger woman, by definition, can’t compete with the depth, patience, and self-assurance an experienced individual brings.
Having found her footing, she’s unbothered by silly talk of competition.
Settling down rush
Seriously, don’t assume every woman in her thirties is mentally rushing you to the altar by your third meetup.
Plenty of women by their 30s or 40s have been married before or raised children and are actually quite picky about giving up their independence.
They could be looking for “LAT”(Living Apart Together) relationships, or just a long-term partner they don’t have to marry.
Most older women just want someone to spend their already good life with.
Strictly high maintenance
We’ve all heard it said: Older women won’t be satisfied unless you’re serving her the finest everything.
While she may never take you to a dirty bar with sticky floors, she may actually be lower maintenance than your average partner when it comes to the things that actually impact a relationship.
She won’t play games with her feelings and will communicate her wants/needs clearly so you aren’t wasting your time trying to read her mind.
She simply knows what she wants and how to ask for it.
Social barrier
A popular belief about dating someone older is that she won’t feel comfortable around your friends because she’ll seem judgmental.
Let me tell you from experience, an older woman has been around enough people to know that humans come in all shapes and sizes.
She doesn’t want to be “cool aunt Sandy” at your BBQ; she wants to enjoy good music and good company just like you.
Odds are she can hold her own when it comes to a good conversation and may even impress your friends with her worldly perspective.
Instruction manual
You’re under the impression she’ll handle every aspect, from deep connection to travel arrangements, because you assume she’s inherently more capable.
This leaves her carrying the emotional weight and making all the future plans for both of you.
Women will still want to feel cherished and like how their partner is willing to step up and take control every once in a while. Asking her to mother you and be your GPS will only lead to burnout.
Not evolving
It’s absurd to suggest that once a woman reaches a certain age, she’s automatically a rigid figure who won’t embrace new experiences.
Many women see their older years as a second act, where they get to try new things, find a new career or worldview. They also tend to be more open-minded because they’ve lived long enough to know nothing is permanent.
Some might even say they’re more likely to take risks since they have less ego to defend.
No desire
A common misconception about older women is that they are over desire or simply past their prime. And both these notions couldn’t be further from the truth.
Research and real-life experience have shown women to become more connected to their bodies and physically liberated as they age. They often express their desires more readily, shedding the hesitations of their younger years.
Older women often bring a unique depth and boldness to the bedroom that’s hard to match.
Desperation
There’s a strong cultural tendency to romanticize dating someone around your own age.
So the stigma has been created that a woman who dates younger is unable to find someone suitable and had to settle for a younger man. However, many women prefer younger men because their energy and minds align more with theirs.
She wants to date you because you both click, not because she was unable to find someone of her own age.
The critic
One fear some men may have is that an older woman will look at your one bedroom apartment or job and tear down what you have done with your life.
Truth is that most women remember what it’s like struggling in your 20s to build your life. Honestly, they likely experienced something similar not that long ago.
She cares less about where you are and more about where you’re going and what you’re made of.
If you’re working hard and responsible with your finances; she will be your number one supporter.
Temporary by nature
Just because there are years between you, some folks think that your relationship is only good until one person realizes that the initial excitement of it wears off.
They don’t think about all the age-gap couples out there that create decades of life together built on the foundation of emotional and intellectual compatibility.
Age is just a number; it doesn’t predetermine fate if you both have the same values and respect for one another.
If you believe it won’t work out because of the digits, you don’t understand the beauty of human chemistry.
Sources: Please see here for a complete listing of all sources that were consulted in the preparation of this article.
