Not everything is as it seems. Some things look sweet only in a movie scene or make for a cute Instagram post. But the reality is more than that. Here are twelve things that some readers told us are romantic but aren’t. Which one do you think is the ‘worst’?
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Grand public gestures
Movies sell grand public gestures as a fairytale moment. It’s not hard to see why, thanks to the big crowds & lights, as well as someone on one knee. But not in real life. Everyone’s staring at you with their phones out. You care more about not making it awkward than about what you actually want to say. It’s a lot of pressure.
Saying “I can’t live without you”
Telling someone you can’t live without them sounds poetic. However, someone’s happiness, or worse, their stability, shouldn’t ride completely on you. That’s not romance. It’s a way of guilting you into staying with them. You’re supposed to be a partner, not a human life-support machine. Don’t let them treat you this way.
Buying expensive gifts
A shiny necklace or a gadget that your partner gives you “just because” seems sweet. Yet it’s usually a cover-up for something else. This could be missed dinners or conversations they only half-listened to. Perhaps they stopped showing up for the everyday stuff. Either way, you can’t wrap those in a bow and call it love.
Over-the-top chivalry
Sure, it’s cute when someone opens a door for you. It’s less cute when they won’t let you do anything for yourself because they’re always helping you. Sometimes, that “help” involves deciding where you sit & what you order. It may also dictate when you leave. That “romance” is a form of micromanagement. You don’t need that.
Moving in together quickly
A new lover might tell you that they simply can’t be without you. They’ll suggest moving in together immediately. But really, it’s because their lease is up & rent’s expensive. Living together can be romantic. You shouldn’t rush into it, though, and you should make sure you’re not getting involved with someone who wants a roommate. It’s not love.
Constant social media posts
Couple selfies every other day & gushy captions are rather annoying. They’re also not always meant to be for each other. Sometimes, people do this to let the world know they’re “so in love” instead. The relationship could be falling apart off-camera. But it still looks perfect on the feed. Is that such a good idea?
Overplanning every date
You might think that a date itinerary without any wiggle room is impressive. That is, until you realize that you didn’t actually talk much during the date. Being shuttled from one “surprise” to another without a minute to breathe isn’t romantic. It takes away any sense of intimacy. Now, the date is a form of event management.
Matching tattoos
People act like getting the same tattoo is a sweet forever thing. The problem is that the “forever” part doesn’t always go as you might think. After all, you can’t make the ink disappear when your feelings change. And getting it removed takes months & money. It’s something many people don’t think about until it’s much too late.
Surprise travel plans
Buying tickets & telling your significant other to pack their bags is cute only in theory. In reality, it’s a nightmare. They might have to deal with work deadlines and pets, or, you know, a life to organize. As such, they’ll end up rushing around. There’s not much romance in chasing laundry at midnight before a flight.
Prolonged eye contact
Everyone loves the idea of “locking eyes” across a room. However, you should keep in mind that long stares aren’t always romantic. It may be a way to control feelings. It could even be a way to make a point without saying a word. Whatever the reason, pay close attention to the feelings, because if it’s intense instead of nice, it’s probably not love. It’s posturing.
Playing “our song” in public
Cueing up that special track at a bar sounds sweet. But half the time, it’s for the audience, and the gesture turns into a show for whoever’s watching. It’s not a real moment between two people. This is a form of romance meant for display, rather than something private you share.
Staying up all night
People love to say they talked till the sun came up, and it sounds romantic. But they’re usually just talking to stay awake. They’re not actually getting closer because the conversations are just about random stuff. Neither person wants to call it a night. So while it might feel deep, you’re really just staying up late to share small talk. Doesn’t seem so lovey-dovey now.
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