I’ve heard this kind of complaint so many times from my grandparents and their friends. “You know, it’s often the smallest requests of all from the family that are the most fatiguing.” Usually, it’s not the size of the favor that gets them. The process of wearing down their energy happens step by step. These are quiet tasks, so they can go unseen. But they require true energy.
Here are twelve little requests that leave many grandparents feeling spent.
Rocking a crying baby for hours
Occasionally a parent just needs a break, so grandma and grandpa are called in to hold the baby who won’t stop wailing. Easy enough, you think, until you’re left holding a squirmy, heavy bundle for hours on end. Constantly rocking, standing, pacing is both physically and mentally draining. The exhaustion stays even when the crying ends.
Supervising messy arts and crafts
Grandkids adore paint, glue, glitter and clay, and they ask grandparents to watch and supervise. Preventing little fingers from painting the furniture or making a big mess takes vigilance. The clean-up often leaves one more exhausted than the actual art project did.
Walking pet dogs multiple times a day
Everyone thinks it’s a little stroll, but it never is with grandparents. Some days the dog is straining like it wants to win a race. And then there’s slippery tiles and uneven ground that they’re careful not to trip on. Or the heat, or a surprise rain that drenches them before they get to the gate. By the time they’re juggling the leash and poop bag, and a dog that must sniff each and every rock on the street, it’s nothing like a simple favor.
Driving kids to playdates
In theory, it sounds like a simple pick-up. In practice, it can be very different for grandparents. Even just the timing can be a bit of a mini-chor; getting them there, waiting, then hurrying back before traffic gets bad. Sometimes the children are happy to hop in, other times they’re crabby and fussing over seat belts and snacks. And then what’s intended to be a short drive to school mysteriously becomes a large chunk of the day, with grandparents passing the time in the car or in the neighborhood until the playdate ends.
Assembling toys
They hand over a box, telling you it won’t take long. Grandparents know it’s never true. Tiny screws roll off the table, the directions look like a cryptogram, one wrong turn and the whole thing will crack. After some time their backs protest, hunched on the floor and crouched over a toy. Their fingers stiffen as they cramp in parts that never seem to align. By the time the toy is standing straight, they’re more exhausted than the child who will play with it.
Reading the same storybook hundreds of times
At bedtime, some parents let their parents take over reading to the little ones, not realizing how tedious the job is. Listening to the same story dozens of times strains concentration and patience. Dramatizing the story every night taxes the mind and vocal cords.
Cooking for picky eaters
Parents might ask grandparents to do some cooking, but children’s picky eating can make this a more difficult job. Cooking up something healthy, tasty and filling over and over, accommodating allergies or dislikes, then washing up can become surprisingly exhausting, even if the meal is small.
Helping with school projects
It always begins with “Can you just help a little?” And suddenly the entire table is full of chart paper, glue, and cardboard scraps. Grandparents find themselves cutting shapes, straightening crooked titles, or looking up facts the child has forgotten to write down. Half the time it’s late at night, with eyes already weary.
Hosting birthday parties
Small parties can be a lot of work. Grandma can get roped into hanging streamers, organizing munchies or supervising a few toddlers. While the laughter is fun, ongoing vigilance, tidying and fretting is tiring.
Managing pets during family visits
Grandparents find themselves herding the children and the animals simultaneously far too often. It’s never quite as easy as it looks, of course. Dogs are jumping up, cats are under the furniture and small animals like hamsters or birds are choosing that exact moment to break out of their cage. One hand is holding a squealing toddler, while the other is keeping a paw from toppling a vase. They’re exhausted at the end, and it’s evident that managing safety and happiness for all is much more draining than they expected.
Reminding kids to follow routines
Teaching children to brush their teeth, pack their school bags and finish their homework often falls to grandparents. Easier said than done. Tell them something once, ten times, twenty times, until they finally listen and do it. Staying patient while prodding, reminding, or even quietly chastising is exhausting, particularly when the children are being distracted or inexplicably engaged with everything in the world but what they are meant to be doing.
Holding the fort during short errands
When a parent says, “I’ll just be a minute” or “Look after them for a few minutes for me,” those “few minutes” can sometimes turn into an hour. Grandparents are left to prepare snacks, assist with potty times, and handle small disputes. Even short intervals of nonstop attention feel like a whole workout, and by the time the parent returns, the grandparents are more exhausted than anticipated.
Like our content? Be sure to follow us.
