Grandparents don’t always say what’s fatiguing or stressful in their lives. Even when some activities are loud, crowded, or draining, they do these anyway.
I heard most of these stories in brief conversations, at the clinic, after community meetings, and a few times in private voice notes. After observing this for a while, I compiled a list of 11 activities where grandparents selflessly slog it out for others.
The morning school drop-off rides
Grandparents make themselves available for school morning chaos even when the traffic, nerves and lack of time get to them. Silently they sit in the back and watch as parents fly through their to-do list. You’ll see them at school gates waiting with family who asked them to tag along. They do it, even though slow mornings are less frazzled.
Community gardening days
Lots of neighborhoods have those “garden days” where everybody pitches in with weeding or planting. Grandparents wear their ancient gloves and take part, though now bending and crouching are hard on their joints.
Community photos always have a couple of older volunteers shuffling along behind the young, going at a slow pace. They participate so they don’t look like they’re ducking group work, even though quiet, leisurely gardening would be better for them.
Public events registration lines
Kids bring along grandpa, grandma to sign-ups for cultural events, registration for free medical camps, or simply for holiday fair entries. Long, snaking lines, blaring speakers, and crowded halls define these places of public convening.
And there in the distance, you’d see gray-haired people standing patiently although the jostling of bodies, the volume, and the wait weary them.
Marathon supermarket trips before holidays
Ahead of major holidays, kids and grandchildren take grandparents to large supermarkets “for company.” The stores are packed, and the bright lights and repeated public announcements bombard the elderly.
Most sit near the trolleys and watch others quickly dart around grabbing items. It’s so common the stores set out chairs next to customer service desks for this exact purpose.
Family home-video recording sessions
Every family is filming these days: little clips, birthdays, stupid videos. Grandparents too join in, even if it means repeating the same activity because someone didn’t like the way the last one turned out. They just keep smiling so as not to hold anyone back.
Housewarming parties
At most housewarming parties, grandparents attend out of the goodness of their hearts. The day is long and exhausting for them.
It’s noisy, the children are running, the house is crowded. You’ll see them half-sitting on a sofa, hands in lap, just catching their breath.
School science and robotics days
These school science and robotics days are always family affairs, and grandparents are the first to sign up to help. The room fills with people, kids, teachers, flashing lights, people talking all at once.
The grandparents end up somewhere to the side, smiling and nodding as they try to keep up. After the school posts the pictures online, they look happy, even if the day felt overwhelming.
Long charity walkathons
Lots of families sign their grandparents up for charity walks as a nice, active day out. However, these events typically last much longer than anyone advertised. The starting area blasts loud music through the air while a dense crowd gathers before the walk officially begins.
Most grandparents lag behind rather quickly, moving slowly in a small pack at the back, trying to soldier on without complaint.
Noisy holiday cooking
On major holidays, families have cooking days when the whole clan prepares meals together. Grandparents still show up to help even though the heat and steam drain their energy along with the long hours of standing.
Many stand at the counter kneading dough or washing vegetables in silence as the kitchen hums with activity. This is an actual portion of the reality in most homes every holiday season.
Neighborhood talent evenings
In some apartment complexes or neighborhoods there are “talent nights” for the kids to perform skits, songs or dances. Grandparents attend even if they don’t want to because it would be unsupportive to skip the event.
These are late events, with loud speakers and kids milling about in packs. You can always count on grandparents though to be in the front rows, hands folded in their laps, quietly clapping after every performance, no matter how late it gets.
Children’s costume rehearsals
You will see grandparents at costume rehearsals for school plays or dance recitals. The kids run around, scream and do the same motions over and over again.
Grandparents are in the stands, nodding along and giving a patient smile, even when they aren’t.
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