You don’t need to be a mind reader to spot the women who fall into the trap of comparing themselves to others. Although, it’s not because they’re going to broadcast their insecurities in plain sight. Instead, it’ll slip through the cracks in their smaller actions and comments.
They might make a subtle jibe at someone else’s success or they might silently evaluate their accomplishments scrolling on the internet. The thing is, it drains them, even on good days where they’ve accomplished a lot. It’s not ever enough. Here are 11 signs a woman is playing the comparison game.
Featured Image Credit: Shutterstock.
Downplay their own wins
It’s difficult for them to simply feel proud. With every success there is a shadow: someone bigger or faster. Rather than basking in the moment they snuff out their own candle.
Change style depending on who’s around
Her basic jeans and sneakers might be her favorite until her friend shows up wearing the newest fashion and she starts seeing her own choice as inferior. Before she knows it, her style is no longer about comfort but rather keeping up.
Keep silent about their struggles
They never want to admit when things are difficult for them. To them, admitting that things are difficult means they are failing, and everyone else is succeeding. So they suffer in silence, when they could speak.
Scroll with a critical eye
Scroll, scroll, scroll. Open the app and try to unwind. By minute 10, she has a lengthy record of what she’s lacking out on: that friend’s trip, one other friend’s engagement, somebody else’s employment contract. Swipe by swipe, she’s leaving her individual dwelling behind.
Seek validation in small ways
They’ll ask, “Does this look okay?” or drop something about their job. But it’s not small talk. They’re angling for a pat on the back. A compliment can give them a boost, but without it their mind starts comparing.
Rehearse how they talk about themselves
She has things to say about her weekend, but before she can say them, she judges if it’ll be less exciting than a friend’s. By the time she’s rehearsed, the words don’t matter as much, or she says nothing at all.
Buy things to “keep up”
It’s not greed. It’s insecurity. They reach for the same things others have, hoping the purchase will close the invisible gap comparison keeps revealing to them.
Revisit old decisions with regret
She may regret her career path and think, “If only I had majored in what she studied, I’d be in a better place.” The thought lingers, played on repeat, and keeps her from being present where she is.
Notice flaws more than compliments
Their brain skews to the negative. Good things are downplayed, and bad things are replayed on loop. A “flaw” trumps ten good things, especially if they think someone else doesn’t have the same “problem.”
Avoid people who intimidate them
It’s not hate, it’s fatigue. They know that certain people will trigger the comparisons that will leave them feeling used up. If they bail on the gathering they think that they are saving their energy and retreating to their sanctuary alone.
Secretly measure timelines
They compare clocks. Another person’s promotion, another person’s wedding, another person’s move, every example of their own “lateness.” And life becomes a scoreboard for them.
Sources: Please see here for a complete listing of all sources that were consulted in the preparation of this article.
Like our content? Be sure to follow us.
