I asked a group of grandparents and elderly neighbors to think of a time when someone attempted to do something nice for them, but ended up making life a bit more complicated. They didn’t speak ill of anyone, of course. We all laughed at the stories of how well-meant innocence can whip up small dramas.
Their tales came from everyday family life at the homes of family and friends. Many had felt that these surprises were sweet at the time but stressful in the long run. Here are 11 well-meant surprises that, without anyone intending, quietly complicate life for grandparents.
Installing a new smart TV
Some grandparents told me their kids showed up one day with a new smart TV. They plugged it in, and left in a hurry. Afterwards, the remote control felt like a Rubik’s cube.
They had no idea which button opened what, and random notifications appeared out of nowhere. One grandfather said he didn’t watch the news for three days because he couldn’t get back to the regular channels.
Rearranging their kitchen to make it easier
Two senior ladies were telling me about their kids’ kitchen innovations. One of them came home one Saturday and her kids decided to renovate the kitchen. All seemed clean and in order when she arrived, but now nothing made sense.
Salt went up on a higher shelf. Plates were in a new order that she never requested. One lady had spent half a morning looking for her tea strainer because her daughter thought it belonged in a drawer she never opened.
Switching their phone to a newer model
Some grandparents told me their children upgraded their phones thinking it would help. Trouble started the minute the new phone was on. Icons were different, some apps had moved around, and some passwords simply vanished.
Delivering groceries through online apps
A couple of grandparents told me that their children ordered groceries via app to avoid them carrying bags. However, they did not know how to choose alternatives if something was out of stock, fresh produce was never picked right, the driver dumped everything outside so they had to carry it anyway.
A married couple chuckled, noting that vegetables had piled up because their children had scheduled repeat orders.
Booking them surprise spa appointments
A few grandparents said their children gave them vouchers to a massage/spa place to help them de-stress. When they arrived they had no idea where to go and what to do about those tablets they have you check in with. Some of the staff members had such soft voices that they didn’t understand half the directions.
The treatments weren’t what they would have picked for themselves. One granny said she left even more stressed after the treatment as the whole time she was worried about making a mistake.
Bringing complicated exercise equipment
Some grandparents told me their kids brought them things like resistance bands or little pedal machines, saying it would help them stay active.
The idea was nice, but to be honest, they had no idea how to use most of it without hurting themselves. A few mentioned being afraid to pull or stretch anything too hard, because they didn’t know what was normal. Many also wanted to talk to their doctor before starting to work out.
Surprising them with new lighting systems
A couple of seniors said their children had installed motion lights or automatic bulbs throughout the house. It had seemed sophisticated at first, until the lights began to behave in an unpredictable manner.
They would come on too early or too late or not at all unless they waved their arms wildly. One grandmother said she felt foolish standing in the hallway flailing her arm around in the dark like she was flagging down a bus.
Signing them up for meal kits
A couple of grandparents reported that their children signed them up for meal kits that promise to make dinner easy. Once they opened the boxes, though, the font was too small, and they had to measure the spices from packets.
Ingredients were pre-divided into absurd numbers of tiny plastic bags. That increased prep time, since they had to stop more often to re-read the next step. One guy concluded he couldn’t continue with the meal kits after ruining multiple dinners by accidentally combining incorrect spice packets. Also, it didn’t save him any time.
Giving them subscription services they don’t know how to cancel
Some grandparents said their children had enrolled them in services, such as streaming apps or online newspapers, with good intentions. They were grateful, but most had no idea how to even switch between profiles, let alone how to access the account management settings. There were too many choices, leading to decision fatigue and they couldn’t possibly get enough use out of them. It seemed like a waste.
Installing security cameras
Some grandparents said their children had installed tiny security cameras throughout the house for peace of mind. The apps kept sending them alerts that made them more anxious, though.
Every few minutes, they’d get messages like “motion detected” or “sound detected,” and they had no idea what it meant. One couple said they called their son nonstop, because they thought someone was outside every time a leaf blew past the camera.
Arranging surprise group video calls
Some grandparents told me their families scheduled recurring group video chats to include them. It was well-intentioned, but they were bombarded once the screen lit up. They couldn’t unmute quickly enough or locate who was speaking. One grandmother confessed that she just sat and smiled, hoping that nobody would ask her a question. She had no idea how to switch to the correct person in time.
