Real comfort in a woman shows up in the slightly unglamorous stuff that she does, and it’s stuff that most guys don’t even recognize.
When the plate stops being watched
Look at how she eats. Not in a creepy way or anything, though. Women early in the dating process tend to be more selective about what they’re eating, as they want to make a good impression. They nibble instead of taking proper bites.
But when they’re feeling comfortable, a lot of women eat like the normal, hungry people that they are, and they’ll also order what they actually want. They quit trying to manage the scene. Now, they’re being honest about how they chow down.
A quick glance doesn’t need a speech
Some people think a woman who never looks at her phone is comfortable. That’s not quite right. Sometimes you’ve got to do it, and women who are comfortable don’t worry when they do it. No apologies or turning the phone over or anything.
She’s calm, and she’s relaxed about looking at her phone, just as she should be. Why? Because she knows she doesn’t need to keep proving that she’s present, as she’s comfortable around a guy. Her phone lights up, and real life pauses for two seconds. It’s no big deal.
The plan gets adjusted out loud
She starts being difficult. It’s only a mild kind of difficulty, though, nothing rude or annoying, but something that shows she can be honest. She might ask to sit outside when you really don’t want to. Maybe she says she wants to go somewhere else because the bar’s noisy.
It doesn’t matter, really, because what counts is that she’s being honest. A woman who automatically agrees might just be polite or nervous. But a woman who’s not afraid of seeming a little difficult? She’s a woman who’s feeling comfortable around you.
The chat finally gets normal
It’s okay for conversations to get boring with her sometimes, with simple discussions about grocery shopping or minor work issues. They’re normal, now and again. It shows you that, actually, she doesn’t feel like every story needs to be an exciting one.
She knows that you’ll be interested in her even during the mundane stuff, and you’re not going to suddenly ditch her. You can’t really get much more comfortable than that.
A quiet beat stays quiet
It’s a similar situation when her mood dips. A lot of women might rush to explain, but comfortable women understand that they don’t really need to. Rushing to fill every gap isn’t their thing.
She’s tired sometimes, and she lets herself be tired, since she understands it’s fine. No need for fake smiling. The truth is, she knows you’ll be fine with a pause being just a pause occasionally.
The missed word comes back
A lot of people fake-hear things. They’ll nod along and smile, even though they didn’t really understand what the other person said, although comfortable women won’t do that. They’ll be honest. ‘Wait, what did you say?’ ‘Could you say that again?’ She’s got no shame in asking.
It’s all because she wants to follow along instead of pretending that she’s listening. Performing doesn’t help anyone, after all. She’s made the choice to show she’s not following along, and that’s a good sign that she’s comfortable.
The answer lands without checking
You’ll notice something after you ask her a simple question. No softening, and no explaining, she just gives you the answer straight, without even trying to explain it. She’s not checking your face constantly for your reaction. That’s a good thing.
A woman like this isn’t scared of sharing her thoughts because she knows that you’re not going to judge her. You’ll be fine. That makes her feel relaxed. It doesn’t mean she stops caring what you think, but it does mean that she’s not looking for your permission after her opinions.
A small correction slips out
One of the most common, yet easily ignored, phrases is ‘Wait, no.’ It does a lot. A woman who says that is a woman who’s talking fast enough and openly enough that she’s not necessarily thinking about each word. She feels comfortable enough to simply speak.
Any corrections or changes she needs to make come after she speaks, not before, because she’s relaxed. She’s not having to second-guess every thought she has before she shares it. Who knew mistakes could be such a good thing?
The day keeps movingÂ
You know she’s comfortable when dates stop feeling like events. They’re normal life. There’s no hiding the regular stuff because she recognizes that it’s okay for things to be average sometimes. Making coffee while she’s talking to you? Feeding the dog?
She’s not going to stop and try to make everything seem impressive because that’s not realistic. These women know you’re fine sitting there while the day continues. That kind of casualness can actually be comfortable, bizarrely.Â
The goodbye gets slightly delayed
She’s got to go. Nobody moves. It doesn’t matter that she’s standing by the door with her coat on, and it doesn’t matter that the conversation should’ve ended minutes ago. She’s okay with being slightly inconvenienced around you.
It’s because she enjoys being around you so much, and she feels completely relaxed. What’s important to her right now? Talking to you.
The little stuff gets left behind
Watch what she does with her stuff around you, and you might notice a few things. Her keys and bag are near you, without her needing to keep an eye on them. She’s fine to leave you with them for a few seconds, maybe even a few minutes.
It could mean she’s distracted, sure, but people take a lot of their small personal things with them when they’re uncomfortable. When a woman leaves them near you, it could mean her guard’s dropped.
Sources: Please see here for a complete listing of all sources that were consulted in the preparation of this article.
