It’s pretty difficult to hide a crush because the harder you work at looking completely uninterested, the more apparent your behavior becomes.
The invisible middleman
It’s funny how, anytime they want information about you, there’s always a third person involved. They won’t ask whether you’re dating anyone, but they’ll say that someone else wanted to know your relationship status. They’ll say that someone else wants you to come to Friday’s event.
That might be true. But really, when the same person keeps acting as the messenger, it’s kind of telling what’s going on. They’re faking someone else’s curiosity so they can make their own questions safer.
The convenient distraction
Someone who’s into you might tell you about how attractive they find everyone else. They’ll tell you that the bartender is cute and that their coworker is gorgeous, for example. It may seem like they’re not interested in you.
But really, it’s likely that they’re trying to steer attention away from where their interest actually lies. It’s even more telling when they become very keen for you to hear it. They’re essentially being strategic about their oversharing, and you should take note of that.
The defense nobody requested
Nobody accused them of flirting, and nobody even hinted at it. But still, they’re desperately explaining how they’re absolutely, 100% not flirting with you. They’ll try their hardest to make you understand the long conversation after dinner was ‘just friendly’ and that their touching your arm ‘meant nothing.’
Sure. There’s a chance they’re telling the truth, but the fact that they’re trying so hard to clean up your interactions unprompted is very telling. Put it this way, if it really meant nothing to them, they wouldn’t be so keen for you to know that.Â
The long route to an answer
It’d take five seconds for them to ask whether you’re seeing anyone. But instead of being so direct, they’ll ask you who you went out with recently, and whether the person in your social media picture is a friend. They’ll be anything but clear.
That’s on purpose, and they’re able to learn a lot without openly admitting that they care about the answer. Yes, this kind of relationship uncertainty makes them think they’re not being obvious about their attraction. But that kind of ‘subtlety’ is, ironically, quite obvious.
The sudden cool-down
One minute, you’re talking to them for hours and swapping stories you normally don’t tell anyone. But the next minute, they’re more distant and way too polite. They’re back to being warm shortly after, and the whole thing gets very confusing.
There’s a reason for that stop-start pattern. Turns out, when someone realizes they’ve let themselves get too close, they’ll try to dial it down by creating distance. They’re trying to control what other people see, even though it’s kind of clear that the coldness always comes after closeness.
The favor that was ‘nothing’
It was nothing. That’s what they tell you after they do a favor that involved a lot of time and effort. But they shrug it off and say it was ‘no big deal.’ Sure. A favor really is just a favor sometimes, of course, yet it’s telling when they keep downplaying their effort.
They’re trying to seem as though they’re not too invested in the relationship. The thing is, though, their actions speak louder than their words, and they tell you a lot more about their feelings.
The joke ends immediately
Most people might laugh or make a joke when someone says, ‘You two should be a couple.’ But there’s that one person who kills it dead by saying something like, ‘No. Absolutely not. We’re friends.’ Then they make sure to change the subject ASAP.
That’s all because they don’t want anyone to know what they’re really hoping for. They want to keep their own feelings private, and they’ll do whatever they can to deny them publicly.
The strangely complete explanation
When someone doesn’t actually fancy you, they won’t need to give a list of reasons for it. They’ll probably just say you’re not their type. But then, with some people, they’ll say how they’re too busy and talking to somebody else, as well as how you’re ‘like family’ to them.
Those reasons could be true. Those reasons could also be a way for them to carefully manage their feelings and stop you from knowing how much they actually like you. In other words, all those explanations are saying something else.
The attention suddenly gets shared
You might notice that they aim everything at you for around twenty minutes. Questions, jokes, little side comments, eye contact, you get it all. Then, out of nowhere, something seems to click, and they give the rest of the crowd attention. They practically ignore you.
They might even physically move across the room, and it’s a way for them to create distance. They’ve become aware of how they’re coming across. So, they begin spreading the attention around to make their attraction a little less obvious.
The compliment gets edited
It’s always nice getting compliments. Pay attention to the way other people compliment you. They might tell you something nice, but then, almost immediately, they’ll add something to the compliment to minimize it a little. They’ll tell you, ‘That color looks really good on you.’
It’s followed up with, ‘Not that I was really looking.’ Whatever the praise is, they’re determined to say something to take the warmth out of it, and it’s because they have a secret. They don’t want you to know they really do care about you.
The reaction that disappears
Notice how they act when someone else gives you compliments, too. They normally have a lot to say, but when someone praises you, they’re completely silent. There’s no comment or reaction to the compliment.
It’s not always meaningful, obviously. But that blankness is quite a change. They seemed to be completely into you earlier, so that difference feels pretty deliberate.
Sources: Please see here for a complete listing of all sources that were consulted in the preparation of this article.
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16 male traits that attract almost all women, even when they are not aware of it
