10 things many women keep secret and don’t tell their husbands

Many women choose to never tell their husbands these 10 things, for one reason or another.

An older version

She misses little pieces of herself she hasn’t talked about in years. It’s not like she wants to go back there. She’s happy in her marriage. It’s just that she misses that old version, the one who was spontaneous without worrying. The one who spent money without explaining it.

But she’ll never tell him about it. No way. She knows that telling her husband about it would open another can of worms. So she keeps it to herself. She doesn’t want to get into all of that.

The small pause

Attraction doesn’t involve fireworks forever. Most people know that. But hardly anyone admits it. Yes, there are days when she looks at him and feels the spark. Then there are days when she can’t see anything but the haircut he’s had for eight years. Nothing really happens.

However, she’s unlikely to tell him about it. You hardly forget the comments people make about your appearance. It might be normal for physical attraction to change over time. But she’ll keep all of that a secret.

The easy answer

It’s not exactly a lie when she says, ‘I’m fine.’ But it’s not exactly the truth, either. She uses it as a shortcut because she’s tired of having the same conversation again. She doesn’t want to keep unpacking things. So, she says she’s okay. She moves on.

Sadly, she already knows what comes next, and that’s defensiveness or a two-hour conversation. It’s not worth it. Instead, she keeps her real feelings to herself and doesn’t let him know.

The shared thing

There’s a hobby she pretends to love. It could be her husband’s three-hour podcasts about something she doesn’t care about. It could be craft beer. However, she doesn’t tell him about what she truly thinks about it.

No, she’ll play along and ask him questions. She’ll buy him something related to it. Why? Because she wants him to think that she cares. Seeing him enjoy the hobby is enough enjoyment for her.

The private list

She says she let something go. She mostly did. But she keeps a few moments in her mind for longer than he realizes. That’s not to say she’ll bring it up. At least, not directly. She doesn’t want to sound like she’s keeping score.

So instead, she’ll file it away and show her feelings another way. The birthday that he forgot? She remembers. The promise that he made before he got busy? She hasn’t let go of it. All those unresolved emotional memories are still there.

The polite thank-you

He thinks he’s doing enough by saying thank you for dinner. Unfortunately, he didn’t notice that she planned it and bought it. He didn’t realize she cooked it, cleaned it, and remembered what everyone else needed before anyone else asked. That hurts.

But a lot of women keep this frustration to themselves. They don’t want to ask to be appreciated. It feels pretty uncomfortable. They’d rather keep it a secret than deal with those emotions head-on.

The other version

Sometimes, she pictures another life. It’s not necessarily a life with another man, but more like a life where she lives by herself. One in a different apartment and a different routine. It’s one where there’s less negotiation, and she can do exactly what she wants.

Yet she knows exactly what’d happen if she told him about it. Imagining another life sounds a lot worse than it actually is. It’s perfectly fine to explore other possible futures without wanting to leave. But she’s not going to tell him that.

The flat stretch

She gets bored way more often than she’s willing to admit. Yes, she’s bored with having the same conversations and going to the same restaurants. There’s nothing wrong, of course. That only makes it harder to talk about. 

She knows how cruel it sounds to tell him, ‘I’m bored.’ All she means is, ‘I miss feeling surprised.’ But that’s not something he’ll completely understand, so she tells him that she’s tired or busy instead.

The small spark

She’s not stupid. She notices when someone else gives her attention. She hears the comments, and she sees the looks. It doesn’t usually go beyond that moment. But she’ll still keep that alternative a secret.

She’s fully committed to her man, and it doesn’t seem worth bringing it up. The entire encounter stays unspoken. 

The locked drawer

Trust doesn’t work the same way everywhere. Sure, she trusts him in one area. She doesn’t think he’ll cheat, for example. But then she’ll feel unsure in another area, like finances. Both can exist at the same time. Neither of them needs to be explained. 

Honestly, it feels better to keep those concerns to herself. She doesn’t want to start a conversation that goes nowhere. Or worse, it leads to an argument. She leaves the worries to herself.

Sources: Please see here for a complete listing of all sources that were consulted in the preparation of this article.