There are a few phrases that, although they don’t sound like much, often show up when a woman’s hiding details or telling stories that don’t quite fit.
A familiar little line
It sounds normal. She says, ‘I already told you,’ and sure, people forget things sometimes. But it’s pretty telling when a woman keeps using it whenever you ask her for clarity about something.
Did she actually answer you before? Or is she using your doubt to avoid doing so?
Saying something like this moves the conversation away from the topic at hand. Now, you’re talking about your memory, which is pretty convenient for her. A trustworthy woman would be able to repeat herself without making it into a whole thing.
A neat little dodge
Try asking her a question, and she’ll make you feel silly by saying something like, ‘You’re being paranoid.’ It doesn’t matter that you noticed her story changed slightly, and it doesn’t matter that you noticed one of her messages was deleted. Your reaction’s the problem now.
She doesn’t care to talk about the facts, no, she wants to talk about why you’re reacting that way instead. It’s a handy way for her to avoid any responsibility while also avoiding saying anything at all.
Safety in numbers
Her behavior doesn’t seem right in the slightest. However, she’ll say, ‘Everyone does it’ as a way of justifying what she’s done, as it makes you into the problem. She’s just behaving like everyone else, didn’t you know?
Chances are, though, not everyone behaves like that. It wouldn’t make a difference even if they did, because it wouldn’t make her behavior any better.Â
Before the reset
Timelines matter, and untrustworthy women know that better than anyone else. They’ll say, ‘That was before, so it doesn’t count,’ and genuinely mean it, although they don’t clarify what ‘before’ actually refers to.Â
They don’t need to. ‘Before’ has no fixed meaning and only applies in the way that she wants it to. The truth is, respect has no expiry date, and a woman who’s actually trustworthy would understand that fact.Â
A warning label
You haven’t even heard the explanation yet, but she’s already judging your reaction. She tells you, ‘I can explain, but you’re not going to like it.’ Why? Because you’re immediately put into the hot seat, and it doesn’t matter that you’re annoyed about what comes next.
She already warned you about it. A trustworthy woman is the kind of woman who’ll start her explanations with the facts, but an untrustworthy woman begins with damage control.
Wrapped in kindness
It sounds sweet. For two seconds, at least, it does, when she says, ‘I didn’t want to hurt you.’ But then you find out that she hid the truth from you or straight-up lied, and that means she took away your choice.
There are some women who say it to hide hard truths, not because they’re evil, but because they’re scared. Fine. However, they’re still hiding the truth, and it’s likely that you can’t trust them to be honest with you in the future.
Pressure enters the room
Saying, ‘I had to say that,’ takes away any responsibility for her actions. It’s not her fault that she lied, it’s because of someone or something else, so you can’t be mad at her. That’s what she thinks, anyway.Â
A sentence like that begs a question. If she ‘had to’ lie once, what happens the next time that there’s more pressure on her? What’s she going to do next? It doesn’t bear thinking about because, now, you should understand that she’s up to no good.
Keep the picture clean
It’s so telling when she says, ‘Don’t make me look bad.’ She doesn’t really care about what the truth is because she only cares about how she appears to other people. Managing her image matters way more to her.
She’s using that sentence to shut down any questions and to make you stop poking at certain things. You know, the things that she doesn’t want you to ask her about. But how she looks to other people isn’t your responsibility, after all, and you should remember that.
A door that closes
‘You either trust me or you don’t.’ It seems so obvious, and it sounds like all you have to do is pick a side, nothing more. But no. Real trust is nowhere near as tidy as that, because you can trust someone while still asking for the full story.
It’s completely normal to ask questions, and a trustworthy woman should know that. She’s trying to make your questions seem like a betrayal of trust. They’re really not.
Peace on the surface
Most people don’t like drama. That’s a fact. But a woman who says, ‘I don’t want drama,’ is actually telling you something else, especially when she says it after you’ve asked a serious question.
The problem now is that you’ve brought things up in the first place because, according to her, you’re just creating drama. She wants to make you seem selfish without recognizing that she’s the one who did something wrong.
Sources: Please see here for a complete listing of all sources that were consulted in the preparation of this article.
