I listened to my Boomer grandma and her friends as they were complaining about younger people and some things they said made sense to me. Little stuff like half-listening, dropped greetings, or scant gratitude really hurt them, while younger people consider those habits to be quite normal, not rude. Let’s have a look at 12 generational differences that the seniors I spoke with look at as being rude.
Lost rules of social graces
One senior I talked with said what frustrates him most isn’t sweeping cultural changes but minor niceties that have been lost.
He said he noticed how young people routinely ignored simple acts like saying hello or goodbye, holding a door open, or sending an RSVP. To him, those little things were a simple way to show consideration for others.
Using humor to deflect serious issues in conversation
Older generations tend to address serious matters directly and sincerely. Younger generations are more likely to cushion their words with humor. To them, a joke keeps things lighthearted.
To boomers it can sound like a cop out. Both are not wrong but come from different perspectives of respect and openness.
Delayed or minimal gratitude
One senior said she had recently helped her grandson move from one apartment to another. Later that night, he texted her, “Thanks again” and while she was glad he did, she still would have liked to hear his voice, or at least a photo of his new place. Thanking her, in her view, should have taken a little more effort.
Younger people today feel a short text expresses gratitude adequately but older generations desire more personal recognition.
Not sticking to proper grammar and punctuation
For these seniors who grew up thinking full sentences and correct writing show some sort of respect when it comes to communication, the idea of sloppy texts and abbreviations sounds rude and lazy.
“Typos, missing commas or slang really bother me sometimes,” complained one senior.
Rushing through simple interactions
I’ve found that older generations are a little slower in those small exchanges. They will ask the clerk how their day is going, or crack a little joke at the counter.
I saw a young man at a counter the other day and it was just a quick transaction, no words shared. To Boomers, that speedy-ness is not just fast, it feels rude as well.
Being too quiet in group settings
“When I’m at a family dinner or a team meeting and I look around and there’s silence,” a Boomer said, “it really annoys me.” She continued, “I see people who aren’t speaking, and I think, ‘Are they not interested? Or are they being rude?”
“We were taught to speak up and ask questions and join the conversation. Younger people just don’t say anything. They may not want to interrupt, or maybe they just like to listen. But I don’t see listening as a contribution. When everyone is just silent, I feel like they don’t want to hear what I have to say.”
Young people may not see anything wrong with this. Some may have social anxiety or some may not want to speak up until they have something meaningful to contribute.
Not knowing shared cultural references
“It drives me crazy that someone has never even heard of a band or show that is a mainstay of our childhood,” said one Boomer. “It’s like they don’t care about something that was important to us.”
Another lamented, “I understand they just grew up with different things, but it still feels like a part of our common world is being dismissed.”
Dressing casually for formal events
The Boomers we spoke to said they notice when younger people dress very casually for events they consider formal. One said, “It feels like they didn’t even think about it. Wearing sneakers or sloppy clothes just looks lazy.”
Another added, “Even small things, like messy hair or wrinkled shirts, make a difference. It shows whether you care or not.”
Over-sharing on social media about minor frustrations
“I keep seeing people complain about slow Wi-Fi or traffic and I don’t understand why they post every stupid thing that happens to them.”
“They just want attention for things that don’t even matter,” complained a couple of seniors we spoke to.
Constantly checking phones during conversations
Several seniors told me how they often get irritated when people only half listen to them. Seeing a person look at their phone as they speak, even for a moment, is rude in their eyes.
Young people do it as a matter of course, but those Boomers seemed to take it personally.
Related Stories:
14 Etiquette Rules Younger Generations Won’t Follow
10 Ways You’re Accidentally Being Rude, According to Etiquette Experts
